Steps

Walking down the way
I saw what I felt all day
I felt what I never needed
all my life

I kept asking
why did it become this way?
I was seeking a stranger
and I was feeling
stranger to myself thinking
this way

I kept saying what
I wanted you to be
I kept seeing you with someone
and that was me ...

Steps I took
to keep this dream awake

Steps I took to never
let this isolation shake
For your and mine
and the miscellaneous sake

Words, mumbled prayers
I kept chanting in probation
for some grace
I prayed for disposition
as reverberations brought
back what I was willing to fake

Steps, I took to extend
a hand from within
to a mirror that was not
a smooth surface

Steps, I was to take were
in hope to never retract from a
slippery surface

I was holding onto
the surface
and the grip was fast glooming
my grin
I was looking for an apt
purpose and the more
I thought, the more
it looked grim

I was willing to shake
what others were ready to ignore
I was ready to make
what I never though I could ensure
And yet delusions were sweeping me wild

I would let it go in and out
Oh!, Beauty a thing to flout
Love and I had a will to win
I wasn't losing ground
and she wasn't caving in ..

Steps then, there were enough
to keep distances that I never
thought I wouldn't break

Seasons came and swept in doubts
and convictions I wasn't able to conjure
The more I looked, the less I saw
the more I saw, the less I was ready to stake

I knew in my sleep
and I knew when I did quest
I would never be too sure
To be the learner, I am destined
never a master, a recorder,
so my destiny flows . . .

Exploring all things on the way
broken, battered, scarred
and all others noteworthy,
to plug and play

I can't be shy,
my mother once said
Never think of what people
would think of me
And there, I started dreaming
I would write my destiny

not waiting for fate..
not waiting for serendipity..

While I sleep over it
and appreciate the help, my
dreams extend to let me seek..
I fought for love
I fought for glory

I may not live my altered reality
but I am living by my theory,
those steps that I long fought hard
to make

I walk the line and I keep tracing
where it led and where it was
to let me be ...