करवट 

रहा न मैं फिर अपने जैसा

 जो चला आया तेरा अक्स 

खुले एक दरवाज़े से

तेरा नाम में लिपटा हुआ 

एक साया

टूटी मेरी तन्हाई से

मीलों की दूरियां

सादियों के फासले

नापता सिर्फ तेरे क़दमों 

की गूंजती आहटों से

 तुमने कहा था 
सपने तो अपने हैं
अब नीदें ही रवां है तो 
बस करवट तुम तक लाती है 

बंद आँखे धोखा देती हैं कभी 
कभी खुली आँखें पानी बन जाती हैं

दोनों के बीच
एक करवट बन आओ तुम 
सपने से खींच
हक़ूीक़त बन आओ अब तुम 

Liar Liar

I set you free
from my mistakes and insanity

and there you will be

perfect in your serendipities

'cause there is one chance

that you I know you will not take

and that is to bet

on this bundle of mistakes...

I know you said you forgive me,

but was there any truth

speaking through you

or just misery tired of my lies?

I did ask you to cry in my arms

when I did become

the reason for your tears,

adding salt to the wounds

that I had fought

to separate all these years

Between you and me, 

we've weathered all storms

but perhaps none bigger

than these past few wrongs...

I know I cannot undo what I have done

and I know with every sad moment

that turns into regret

that I can't forgive myself
and you can't forget...

And if this is how it ends then 

forever suspended I will feel wry

and like a open wound

always think of 'why' 

I did lie to myself much more

is all I know

when I told myself
that I know who I am

and told you that 
I am sure...

FORGET

There are often moments in life

that we all long to forget

regret or otherwise

moments, we all relive

rather in disdain,
all in our head

We came across each other

at that certain time

you looking for hope

And me, just someone I could call mine

With friendship,
the bond grew

we began seeing things

no one else around knew

Days, weeks and months just melted

even from afar

As the distance blended into

our sacred, lovely moments' jar

One by one, we managed to untangle

the knots, 

and sort the anomalies that had earlier

shredded our hearts

Then love followed taking it to a level new

when I first felt your skin on mine

you felt our souls intertwined

It was all but a fairy tale, because this was true

slowly I was believing in love again

'cause I was being myself
and I was still being loved by you..

Time then borrowed wings,

hurried along before spreading the span

flew us into our quarters but not apart

longing gnawing a bittersweet pain

only to melt with a moment spent together

And one day when that moment finally came

our joy knew no bounds

We held hands and kissed too

and didn't know when to stop

Till boundaries seemed meaningless

and love flowed from the heart

All the long distance of longing

finally came to fore to soothe two raging hearts

Just short of a fairy tale

then followed a moment that made you wail

my inability to share things,

especially the ones that mattered most

almost sealed our fate

A fatal, forgetful sin

one I never dreamt of

even in my wildest dreams..

It began to bleed and the pain was too real

the tears in your eyes said much more

than the words you said or the ones I feared

all the time looking for things that could heal

but there was nothing to be found

You were my saviour,
my balm, my winning ground

And by creating a void in your happiness

I lost my baritone, a soundless explosion

that made hollow my throne

and no longer were you there,

my wings were clipped too

And the walls of my heart were stripped bare

along the corridors of pain
I stumbled along wisdom
and then some more 
and with your lingering presence 
rooted it back to my core

even from a distance
the journey then seemed a little less uphill
my peaks were still growing
and you were climbing still
and with your hands in mine
we gaped at the sunset
dipped in a glowing haze
to forget the misery 
that once beget..

Mirage

In a silent spot on the crowded train
I scream out your name
only to hear your echo
in my ears

With eyes shut tight
And ears holding up might
to suck out the light

The nameless faces pause for a second
And then go back to their ordinary lives
And take with them
the mirage that you were here...

The silent solitude and the empty bliss
together usurp any remnants of restraint
to let me see you with closed eyes
or envision with eyes open that you're here 

Opium indifference

with a slit of light

the cloud puff became clear

the inching of your breath

and the lisps in your swears

the sky had descended

replacing the blue with black

the scraped skin in your fingers

and the midnight in your backpack

cuddled in the ruins of your coiled hair

were the restrains of the night

that we had previously laid bare

the dark spots on the walls

had witnessed with sleepy blur

the opium on your tongue

and the quiet soothing of pain

the vibrations had softened to slow

as indifference began to grow

in the shell of slumberous lair

I finally felt the spring in my chair

a few feet higher than ground

my feet nowhere to be found

like feathers suspended in mid-air

a new breed had mushroomed within

taller than my wares

I was indifferent to prying glares...

I was free at last,

but the price was too much to pay

living in the night

thinking of it to be day..

Restraint

We both expect

but neither can relent

we both object

but neither can refrain sans the resent

made from our heart's mind

and bound by its make

we pursue our destinations

farther as they gallop in opposing directions

many seasons came and went

ample thoughts to lure the mind's vent

if only logics drove love

no  misery would befall this world

stuck like glue, I am meant to be with you

and you be with your dreams for now

and there someday I will reach

within the confined of our restraint

far as it seems as of now,

decimated as I look up to the sky

and you look down upon our remains

the only journey upward remains

maybe its a crazed belief

my heart's keeper, it is you that I seek

and without you, there really isn't any sight

let alone the differences between day and night

in innocent chambers of heart they dwell

for the feelings we left behind did swell

and compounded into desires bigger than our pain

how long can we live in this restraint?

Words on Water

You came to me when I was lost

and today I find myself lost in you…

You held my soul when it wasn't wandering

and rested it within your fears

Years of emptiness arrested…

You came and opened all locked doors

including the ones sealing my lips

and heart

You held my nerves and

let me touch your heart

And within it you created us a home

a shelter to last, that was only ours to break

And I learned what it was to lean,

call someone mine and mean it too

What this word ‘love’ could mean...
and what we could become by it

But did I?

You told me actions are love

and I chased you down with words

You said silence is lyrical

and I wrote love songs to make you mine

You said love needs to be healthy

and I gorged on you till the clocks bled dry

You said distance would keep us sane

and together we tasted insanity

You kissed my lips and I bit your tongue

You said love needs to wait, it will find its way

and I proposed to you the same day

You told me the meaning of god

and I raised you the only pedestal I knew

You came to me shy and unhinged your hopes

I caged you in ropes and stitched your smile

You screamed reason with battered hope

I saw logics drugged with delusion

You threatened me in despair

and I saw no reason to stand up and care

You slowly breached the little spell

and I finally begun feeling the tremors as the tears fell

And then one day you packed up and left

with the pieces you could find

and scattered me to the mercy

of a mortal life in a room full of mirrors

Among reflections, I could only deflect for so long

and in your absence, my opium,

I couldn't help but see my life like you did

like I should have lived

like I could have cared

like I needed to give

things I needed to share

dreams I needed to dream

hopes I needed to raise

love as I was meant to see

pain I needed to share

words that couldn't care

actions you couldn't see

hope that ceased to arrive

fear that brought in strife

A hundred days passed us by

your wounds didn't heal

and my anger couldn't show me why

the apologies I piled on you

In the hope you would look right through

my sincerity and regrets

that brought me back to life

My fears and mistakes

were painted on our canvas like fire

and then my attempts to rescue

didn't seem to collate

all the scattered fears

and all my bumbling mistakes

I could have left the world

if I would leave it better

than I had found...

but the very flower adorning my garden

was now rusting to the ground

I said all my prayers and

called on all the gods I knew

only to realise that with the wilting flower

my only god was leaving me too

To the human in me, that decay left a sound

I rose from a deep slumber

and looked past the despair

Painting new leaves, the plant grew

but the flower remained static

like our distance before we knew

I could use all the words I know

and a million times for the forgiveness

for the logics I couldn't show

And tell you how much

I've lost already in your tears

to ask you to come back to me

draped even if in your fears

to promise you this time nothing but respect

to hold your head high in every aspect

to keep you in my heart before sight

to love you through the day and not just night

to reach out to the person in your skin

to hold you near but not close

to use words only when actions would dry

and love you till you till your hopes

begin to, once again, fly...

जाने क्यूँ

सब कुछ पीछे छोड़

हम चले आये थे 

जाने तुम क्यूँ वापस चले आये 

जाने क्यूँ हमने तुम्हे आने दिया

घाव तो अभी भरे नहीं थे 

सपनों से अभी हम डरे नहीं थे

मौत से आगे बढे नहीं थे

ज़ख्मों में क्यूँ तुम्हे शामिल किया

ख़ामोशी से अभी भी नाता कहाँ हैं 

मन की सड़कों पे खाली यादें जमा हैं

बढ़ते तो सिर्फ कागज़ पे दिन है 

जाने क्यूँ बाकी अब तक यहाँ हैं

मिल कर भी मिल जो जाए तो क्या 

न मिल के जो खोया वो अब भी लापता है 

जाने क्यूँ अब भी तेरे सपनों में शामिल

हैं मेरे सपने जो कभी हमारे न बन पाए

मन्मर्ज़ियाँ जो बयान न कर पाएं
जो छुप जाएँ तो तुम बिन कहाँ जाएँ
जाने क्यूँ ढूंढें बस वोही जो न पाएं 
जाने क्यूँ

जाने दे

तुम तक

बस तुम तक

सारी मंजिलें 

सब रास्ते थे सीमीत 

बस तुम तक

अब तुम नहीं

तो नींदें धुआं हैं 

आँखें हैं बोझल 

सूना जहाँ है 

है आँखों में अब भी वो तस्वीर 

माना था जिसे खुदा 

जिससे किया दिल को ताबीर

और किया खुद को नफा

अब धडकनों में रूककर

तकदीर से झुक कर

आशाओं से मूक कर 

किया अलविदा कुछ अपनों को 

खुद क़त्ल कर कुछ सपनों का 

दहन किया हमदर्दी का 

आंसुओं में खोये जो थे

उनको भी कहा अब जाने दो

लम्बी नहीं ज़िन्दगी 

तो पल छोटे क्यूँ कर लें

इनमें जी कर

फिर चाहे जितने मौतें मर जायेंगे  

मर मिटे अभी हैं 

साँसों को पता नहीं 

थम कर अब बस

करना इंतज़ार है 

सिर्फ कुछ करना ही स्वीकार था हमको 

चुप रह कर बनती बात न थी

अब ख़ामोशी में लिपटे

मिटटी के इंतज़ार में 

शब्दों को ढूँढने बोलो कहाँ जाएँ?

सामने तो हो तुम
खुद में मगर तुम कहाँ
चाहा था जिसको तुममें
उसको ढूँढने बोलो अब किधर जाएँ?

Undefined

Take a pencil

and draw me a line

keep the distance

between us as a scale

and let the paper

capture the distance

the spaces between us...

let the paper not fail

to capture the divide

the meanings you see

and the reasons I hide

the book, full of paper

would run deep

and deeper it will go

bloated with the grey black lines

slowly narrower,

as the paper begins to show

Let not the echo of your breath

be deeply embossed in those lines

don't let the tears fray the mind...

this is death but the journey was life

and while it lasted

the paper was green

our hands together

filling up its seams

but now the white has conquered fear

in our minds, death forever near

Heaven besides you

Search...

what you refrain

is pouring

through silent eyes

again

I turn to you for

words

wanting to be

understood, without

saying the words

A dream catcher

in the middle of nowhere

an empty vessel
left to rust...

Against one's own forgive

that lasts

no longer

than the feeling

of another

thought

Drifting aimlessly

in the air

trying to reach

the distant skies

Look inside

me for the

meaning of you

If we just lie here

would it increase

the hold,

before we're

a little too old ..

If its grace ..

I know

you're true

What more could I

look forward to?

The words

may not

say too much

but enough has
already been said

and yet
what remains to achieve
is our forevermore

Seek the truth

and

you will then know

that all we need

is everything

we can't let go...

Heaven besides you

come lets flow...

Find me

The world's greatest puzzle

revolves around the mysteries of the heart

where you stand

or what happens
when you fall apart

the mystery of a lost heartbeat

or sometimes a broken heart

a place which was safe from the world

is now where the bleeding first starts

Forgive me if I feel this way

but when was the last time
you felt love

was it with the words I said

or the last memory of happiness
 when we were underway?

I could find you if I knew where I was

I could find myself if I knew where we fell apart

the traces are far too spread between the pain

to pick up a thread and source the start

And so I stand and wait in vain

with broken pieces and charred remains

of a spirit and a sordid heart,

one that deadbeat with you apart

I love you, and love they say will find a way

together we journeyed down this road

Hopeful of a tomorrow better than yesterday

On a hope 

bleak as the future may seem sometimes

and glorious past may haunt the pride

stop sometime and seize the commotion

what we salvage is not the love but our slide

the love's strong and the emotion stronger still

I loved you yesterday, today,

tomorrow and I always will

the hunt for self is still on, and it’s a journey

that will lead me to the love

that's only mine to lose...

 

GONE

The bed is made on your side
and the curtains are drawn
the oxygen's missing
and death seems nearer than dawn

deaf-tones seeping from bleeding walls
are but echoes of the broken falls
empty vases and charred remains
are remnants of how far this longing's spanned

the dust on the shoes is now rust
the flame is the desires has long turned ash
the rain has long stood guard to my moist eyes
coming down each time to see me
when I feel lonely without your lullaby's

like a traveler you've join back the race
leaving behind an essence of an embrace,
an empty frame and a pair of numb hands
are not half as painful as the never ending nights

rise, like the phoenix and sail in my direction
and teach me the real magic of painting smiles
the necromancy you can accomplish
is dearer to those living out lies 

I could write a thousand words today about a hug

sing a million why you should be mine
holding a few pieces of my heart in my hand
I close my eyes to turn back time

if you know how much of yourself you left behind
you'd come back for me, and change my world 
one more time the way you had done
the magic in this might
will reunite all that customs had to divide

or call me, a hopeless drifter, in your direction
like a bag of plastic, weightless I've floated for long now
or come and stub out this bag of bones
for one last touch from you death will wait...

Prolong

Slow down and

breath a while

you've been many places

that have robbed you off your smile

Breathe now

and live out a memory

sing for what's your

and dance in this moment's harmony

tender and young, your mind

is just like your heart

far you've come, away from home

just to make a brand new start

walking along, you met some 

strangers on the way

some familiar faces

and other that made home seem far away

you're exceptional in your speed

but innocent in your eyes

the world couldn't have been cruel place 

not from your eyes...

you've music in your blood

that makes everything around sing

you've a rhythm in your living

and that's the beauty you bring

I cannot tell you the value of love

cause in many ways you live it

everyday in the way you live

I stand in a corner and see you fly

away from all the trappings

of a young butterfly

you soar high into the sky

and come down to rest at will

leaving behind all those jealous

and spilling the honey of love

but life is not only a garden of roses

and even those flowers have thorns

life is like a mountain, that's hard to climb

but give it time and you'll get to the top soon

and then you'll see the whole world shine...

you are tough, and stronger than most

and everyday you fly far from your coast

and mingle with birds from another sky

in the hope of finding your true identity

discovery is your true love,

and for your true love you wait,

patiently and lovingly

touching everyone along the way

I know you like looking the sky

in the hope of finding your own star

I wish someday

you find one just like you...

beautiful inside out

and shining for even those unknown to you 

your sweet core is your inner smile
but unlike most you have a soft exterior too
crumbly but not melting
you are a tough cookie...

lighting the path of others

before shining some on yourself

far you will go, I pray

if only, you love yourself,

and set yourself free...