Going Away

We've a long distance standing in our way

we've come far, but it looks like

we might have to turn away

or turn back I know not yet

I cry, and you spill the tears

helping me realise the worst of my fears

I take it you know pain

we've bled into each others veins

Time heals only the memory of the dead

the living continue to gnaw

and dominate the makings of  life

bit by bit, the changing strides

leading in directions, both ambiguous and known
walking the hard yards in shoes once 

were only yours to be worn
but now seem alien as day

space it out and give it time

seem perfectly plausible approaches

but why do they not know

I wasn't born this way

what makes me special

also makes me bad taste

my makers you know this

and it's been with me before I was chaste

but now I'm unpure,
unattended and obscure

slowly getting lost in my own delusions

stumbling between self-loathing and confusions

this life is good, the only problem is that  I feel

the misery in seeing what others don't

however, is that I live it but it doesn't heal

How do you reason with pain

that you willingly take?

Who do you question? 

What can you salvage...?

Taking a few steps back,

I see my reflection asking me

to change my direction or

end this journey before I become more of myself

unfaithful and unprejudiced is the heart,

knowing all the truth from the start

yet doing everything to keep it at bay

let you fantasize even on the funeral pyre

I wish one could step away from one's own being

live without knowing control or knowing control

away from the purview of a living being

A world free of misunderstandings and hate,

complicated thoughts and rigid distances

How I wish...

Words 

Let me touch you with my words,

for my hands I will leave this empty glance

let me kiss you with this thought

my lips are numb from the missed chance

let me not kill this sight that lends fire

my soul is still burning

and my heart is all desire

Within you I lose myself,

and without I find myself waiting for a chance

what will I take of you

back with me

with these lifeless hands?

Let me love you as you sit in that chair,

without any movement

strip you bare, with this thought

and the sound of kiss

these thoughts will do the elusive trick

Let my words stroke your hair,

slide down your back,

and tickle your belly

My hands, stubborn as brick,

lie lifelessly,

not willing to carry out
my simplest desires

Let my words enter your mind,

bearing torches,

and lit them willingly into your being,

so they may caress you gently within...

From my lips to your heart,

despite this distance,

there will be a road still...

Without my hands and sight,

flying with my words and in my might

My love will take me there,

Where you wait for me...

Where I wait for completion... of every kind