Going Away

We've a long distance standing in our way

we've come far, but it looks like

we might have to turn away

or turn back I know not yet

I cry, and you spill the tears

helping me realise the worst of my fears

I take it you know pain

we've bled into each others veins

Time heals only the memory of the dead

the living continue to gnaw

and dominate the makings of  life

bit by bit, the changing strides

leading in directions, both ambiguous and known
walking the hard yards in shoes once 

were only yours to be worn
but now seem alien as day

space it out and give it time

seem perfectly plausible approaches

but why do they not know

I wasn't born this way

what makes me special

also makes me bad taste

my makers you know this

and it's been with me before I was chaste

but now I'm unpure,
unattended and obscure

slowly getting lost in my own delusions

stumbling between self-loathing and confusions

this life is good, the only problem is that  I feel

the misery in seeing what others don't

however, is that I live it but it doesn't heal

How do you reason with pain

that you willingly take?

Who do you question? 

What can you salvage...?

Taking a few steps back,

I see my reflection asking me

to change my direction or

end this journey before I become more of myself

unfaithful and unprejudiced is the heart,

knowing all the truth from the start

yet doing everything to keep it at bay

let you fantasize even on the funeral pyre

I wish one could step away from one's own being

live without knowing control or knowing control

away from the purview of a living being

A world free of misunderstandings and hate,

complicated thoughts and rigid distances

How I wish...