Restraint

We both expect

but neither can relent

we both object

but neither can refrain sans the resent

made from our heart's mind

and bound by its make

we pursue our destinations

farther as they gallop in opposing directions

many seasons came and went

ample thoughts to lure the mind's vent

if only logics drove love

no  misery would befall this world

stuck like glue, I am meant to be with you

and you be with your dreams for now

and there someday I will reach

within the confined of our restraint

far as it seems as of now,

decimated as I look up to the sky

and you look down upon our remains

the only journey upward remains

maybe its a crazed belief

my heart's keeper, it is you that I seek

and without you, there really isn't any sight

let alone the differences between day and night

in innocent chambers of heart they dwell

for the feelings we left behind did swell

and compounded into desires bigger than our pain

how long can we live in this restraint?

Words on Water

You came to me when I was lost

and today I find myself lost in you…

You held my soul when it wasn't wandering

and rested it within your fears

Years of emptiness arrested…

You came and opened all locked doors

including the ones sealing my lips

and heart

You held my nerves and

let me touch your heart

And within it you created us a home

a shelter to last, that was only ours to break

And I learned what it was to lean,

call someone mine and mean it too

What this word ‘love’ could mean...
and what we could become by it

But did I?

You told me actions are love

and I chased you down with words

You said silence is lyrical

and I wrote love songs to make you mine

You said love needs to be healthy

and I gorged on you till the clocks bled dry

You said distance would keep us sane

and together we tasted insanity

You kissed my lips and I bit your tongue

You said love needs to wait, it will find its way

and I proposed to you the same day

You told me the meaning of god

and I raised you the only pedestal I knew

You came to me shy and unhinged your hopes

I caged you in ropes and stitched your smile

You screamed reason with battered hope

I saw logics drugged with delusion

You threatened me in despair

and I saw no reason to stand up and care

You slowly breached the little spell

and I finally begun feeling the tremors as the tears fell

And then one day you packed up and left

with the pieces you could find

and scattered me to the mercy

of a mortal life in a room full of mirrors

Among reflections, I could only deflect for so long

and in your absence, my opium,

I couldn't help but see my life like you did

like I should have lived

like I could have cared

like I needed to give

things I needed to share

dreams I needed to dream

hopes I needed to raise

love as I was meant to see

pain I needed to share

words that couldn't care

actions you couldn't see

hope that ceased to arrive

fear that brought in strife

A hundred days passed us by

your wounds didn't heal

and my anger couldn't show me why

the apologies I piled on you

In the hope you would look right through

my sincerity and regrets

that brought me back to life

My fears and mistakes

were painted on our canvas like fire

and then my attempts to rescue

didn't seem to collate

all the scattered fears

and all my bumbling mistakes

I could have left the world

if I would leave it better

than I had found...

but the very flower adorning my garden

was now rusting to the ground

I said all my prayers and

called on all the gods I knew

only to realise that with the wilting flower

my only god was leaving me too

To the human in me, that decay left a sound

I rose from a deep slumber

and looked past the despair

Painting new leaves, the plant grew

but the flower remained static

like our distance before we knew

I could use all the words I know

and a million times for the forgiveness

for the logics I couldn't show

And tell you how much

I've lost already in your tears

to ask you to come back to me

draped even if in your fears

to promise you this time nothing but respect

to hold your head high in every aspect

to keep you in my heart before sight

to love you through the day and not just night

to reach out to the person in your skin

to hold you near but not close

to use words only when actions would dry

and love you till you till your hopes

begin to, once again, fly...

जाने क्यूँ

सब कुछ पीछे छोड़

हम चले आये थे 

जाने तुम क्यूँ वापस चले आये 

जाने क्यूँ हमने तुम्हे आने दिया

घाव तो अभी भरे नहीं थे 

सपनों से अभी हम डरे नहीं थे

मौत से आगे बढे नहीं थे

ज़ख्मों में क्यूँ तुम्हे शामिल किया

ख़ामोशी से अभी भी नाता कहाँ हैं 

मन की सड़कों पे खाली यादें जमा हैं

बढ़ते तो सिर्फ कागज़ पे दिन है 

जाने क्यूँ बाकी अब तक यहाँ हैं

मिल कर भी मिल जो जाए तो क्या 

न मिल के जो खोया वो अब भी लापता है 

जाने क्यूँ अब भी तेरे सपनों में शामिल

हैं मेरे सपने जो कभी हमारे न बन पाए

मन्मर्ज़ियाँ जो बयान न कर पाएं
जो छुप जाएँ तो तुम बिन कहाँ जाएँ
जाने क्यूँ ढूंढें बस वोही जो न पाएं 
जाने क्यूँ

जाने दे

तुम तक

बस तुम तक

सारी मंजिलें 

सब रास्ते थे सीमीत 

बस तुम तक

अब तुम नहीं

तो नींदें धुआं हैं 

आँखें हैं बोझल 

सूना जहाँ है 

है आँखों में अब भी वो तस्वीर 

माना था जिसे खुदा 

जिससे किया दिल को ताबीर

और किया खुद को नफा

अब धडकनों में रूककर

तकदीर से झुक कर

आशाओं से मूक कर 

किया अलविदा कुछ अपनों को 

खुद क़त्ल कर कुछ सपनों का 

दहन किया हमदर्दी का 

आंसुओं में खोये जो थे

उनको भी कहा अब जाने दो

लम्बी नहीं ज़िन्दगी 

तो पल छोटे क्यूँ कर लें

इनमें जी कर

फिर चाहे जितने मौतें मर जायेंगे  

मर मिटे अभी हैं 

साँसों को पता नहीं 

थम कर अब बस

करना इंतज़ार है 

सिर्फ कुछ करना ही स्वीकार था हमको 

चुप रह कर बनती बात न थी

अब ख़ामोशी में लिपटे

मिटटी के इंतज़ार में 

शब्दों को ढूँढने बोलो कहाँ जाएँ?

सामने तो हो तुम
खुद में मगर तुम कहाँ
चाहा था जिसको तुममें
उसको ढूँढने बोलो अब किधर जाएँ?

Undefined

Take a pencil

and draw me a line

keep the distance

between us as a scale

and let the paper

capture the distance

the spaces between us...

let the paper not fail

to capture the divide

the meanings you see

and the reasons I hide

the book, full of paper

would run deep

and deeper it will go

bloated with the grey black lines

slowly narrower,

as the paper begins to show

Let not the echo of your breath

be deeply embossed in those lines

don't let the tears fray the mind...

this is death but the journey was life

and while it lasted

the paper was green

our hands together

filling up its seams

but now the white has conquered fear

in our minds, death forever near

Heaven besides you

Search...

what you refrain

is pouring

through silent eyes

again

I turn to you for

words

wanting to be

understood, without

saying the words

A dream catcher

in the middle of nowhere

an empty vessel
left to rust...

Against one's own forgive

that lasts

no longer

than the feeling

of another

thought

Drifting aimlessly

in the air

trying to reach

the distant skies

Look inside

me for the

meaning of you

If we just lie here

would it increase

the hold,

before we're

a little too old ..

If its grace ..

I know

you're true

What more could I

look forward to?

The words

may not

say too much

but enough has
already been said

and yet
what remains to achieve
is our forevermore

Seek the truth

and

you will then know

that all we need

is everything

we can't let go...

Heaven besides you

come lets flow...