Answers to the question I am

Stairs to nowhere
steps to where I stand
single sight towards the destination

Quest: inward
Journeyman, here I am

Out there on your own
sulking to the bone
cursing to disown
my nightmares are your shown

Finding my face
curiosity is making me race
Love's still missing from the face

How are we, this victory,

to embrace?
How even become odds!

Would you care to see
where you stand
or keep running to insanity ?

Again and again
misery goes, pain remains
forgiveness exercised

The hint of the century
Shades of hell
Frozen world outside
breathe for me, empathy
while you dwell...

Hey you!
You may not

be who I want

Or I may not be

who you seek

But together we have a
difference that serves the

purpose that makes us meet

The quest for soul searching

begins with and through

this familiar race

I'm gunning

for the difference

between greatness

and mediocrity

So if everything we do

gets termed as a mistake,

we'll just keep learning

till my restless dream doesn't

succumb to my wordly make ...

Pouring

I've picked up the habit
of crying,
of tears with pain
knowing I'm not lying

Not complacent
in my gains,
though slowly
but surely dying

The world outside
no stoppage can break
Knowing that
I can die and tomorrow
someone can live in my
wake

I seek to better
what my living
withholds

I see now the barriers
that are mine alone
to break

I know no longer
any hurt that doesn't heal
or of any pain
that hasn't led me to remain

Ones that don't dissolve
but turn vintage through tears
Ones that smell of
distance are now
shimmering light

No longer wrying in
my pain
My agony is through
the life of those
who are quiet,
quieter than
the remains of the day

Unheralding under inane
promiscuities libeled
to their make

Aimless wanderers
Where do you go?
Where is your creed?

My shallow pain hurts
still in this defunct
junction that drives my uproar

Your voice, that is sonorous
coupled with the solitude
that's been growing forevermore

I disband a pledge
to my each and every regret
ensure you don't come
back for me, to me in my thoughts

For greater good
and trailing past
I've held questions that
I never did ask

And answers that have
kept me coming back for more
You still with me
in my dreams

For all my reasons
For all my gains
For you, a million times over

I'd embrace crying
without sensing rationality
for or against living in vain

Step outside and
look at the gallant sky
Think of me and when you
do I know it'll pour for me too...

Recluse

I'm confused
about the things
and emotions unused

Do they exist
or am I emoting
over dead feeling
that are obfuscated?

Remnants of dreams
incarcerated

Or unattended altercations
tired of being instigated

But, then again
I'm holding on to
something,
my everything;
you, unabated

It was to go,
what was I to say
and who was I

not to know?

I was to know
but I didn't because
if I did I wouldn't
flow

I wouldn't come
or go, be able to hold
or let you go

Though you wouldn't call
it living and I wouldn't feel

for it to be so

You could term it
a death blow

Dissipation of my reality
was for none to know

I was a dark shadow,
an indigo black that
was soaking up my
left might, there after

My contempt,
the promise of the spring
ring ring, the merry sound of
my badgered self-introspection

Veneering over
visions desolate with
imperfection

There's a mirror
on the wall
I'm crawling towards it

and its cackling

over its fall

Up above there's

also a sky that's gray
replete with feelings
it was never fed...

I'm still confused
who belongs to what

and why is it that

I feel my feeling,

my entity remains unused

I'm a recluse,
ready to use
of no meaning to anyone
living to offer bitter excuse

Accept my excuse
further me to reuse

Offer me refuge
Curse my demure
Drain me of my strain

I'm a recluse
altering the infant
in the world
while the child within me
grows uninitiated...

Core

My center of attention,
I am no more..
Nor wanted
or loved as before..

Bent and broken
I am alone...
As you my shadow
have become unknown

Tired to mend
whats broken
What's still standing
is hard to make

Harder still
is the visibility
of what the tremors
did shake

I am reclined to
hope sans belief
trying to go in circles
for a shapeless piece of cake

You are aligned
to impertinence
and me to desire

Quite an altercation
this duality
enough to fracture any shore

Like Broken leafs
strewn on the ground.
Destroyed beneath
the force of life

Once vibrant, the glisten
is now long gone
Skeletal forms of beauty,
help me make amends
with my reform

A mere blend to the background,
there lies my chore
I'm the center of the earth,
the center of universe
and worldly purpose's censure

Save Tonight

It's dark
yet there is no place
to hide

It's silent
yet voices threaten me,
mock my plight

I am being chased by
shadows and
there are no corners
that turn right

If only we could talk ...

I turn tables in my head
and I see no hope
thats does lend light

I run in circles
holding together
shapes that assimilate
my frail might

If we could talk,
would it make things alright
I don't know
I don't give reasons anymore
that make things seem alright

I see the dawn is breaking,

unmistakebly misty sky

is losing its blue

I spent the night wandering,

wanderlusting for

a living bringing me to you

Save tonight,

tomorrows are going to be few...

Poet and his muse II

I wake up each night
As I see her mingle
and pry
Through longing
and perseverance

All I hear is laughter
And no word of
pain or writhing

She's never wry

The night comes and
goes at a hefty pace

Yet there are spaces
to his longing
and her dawn

Sometimes I feel,
my losses pile up
And I feel I’m losing
the meaning of gain

To such an extent
that I think
I can never face
love again.

But you challenge me
to embrace the pain
You strengthen my will
to resolve again

And debar the
painful thrusts
of evil

My own sinful choices
that drive you away

Long cherished,
my muse

Why do I not see you
in the bright, long day?

To be seen
for what they really are,
are my longings,
the opportunities
for my love
and your grace

Abandonment,
not quite there yet
but the fleeting discomfort
is wild and unrestrained

Uncontrolled
yet freely intrepid

You expose me,
to me, know me
for who I am

So without
condemnation or guilt
Slowly but surely
I learnt to belong

Like grains of sand
guided and left ashore
by a receding wave

I'm concave to the
feeling that left me
withdrawn, abrupt

The whirling street
leads to a sordid turning,
foaming river of love

Dangerously
beckoning me to come
are the ethos
that threaten
to dash my life away

This love,
that's taken its toll
still woos me to remain

I love you,
I know not how much

All consuming love...

Your gently fierce touch
I have lost the meaning of time
and regained sensibilities

I was so afraid to touch

My love's still
not all self-formed
Demeaning or demanding
that my needs be met

My muse, you amuse me
with a love
that frees me
from the bondage of self ...

Remain or unbelong
Let me not change
like the wind
into storm

I lack the world
but the will to seek you
How can I surrender
if what I seek is you...?

Reflections

I say you shall fly
and that flight would be a treat

I know you say
those wings are tender
and you're still better off asleep

Too many gunners
fancying their might
within or without
nascence is a musty delight

What you don't see
I can't get through
what you don’t say
I hear through and through

And when you don't sing
the silence kills
For if you look carefully
its your absence that stills . . .

The world is waiting
and you're
beckoning to become,
as much as you’re
harder to pursue

Casualties aplenty
The longings of the day
between all that we get
and all the weight
Or wait that pushes me to sway

There is that waiting,
that is somehow renewed
Even if your innocence
is fairly shrewd

While you bring it on
there is a life urging
to dissuade my might

Yet through the night
and even in the middle of the day
I'll keep on listening
if you promise to prolong your say

By now you must come to terms
that my poems are my prayers
that hopefully, would make you stay

They will never be complete
if you disappear or
exhibit inhibitions
as I’ve seen on your face
all day …

I would no longer know
what to say
I would know not what
is life in retreat

Some verses
though stand complete

Thy beauty and
grace can never grow replete
beyond the astonishment
that you know plagues me every day

I’ll see you up above
If time comes and you go
And I’m not ready to fly …

Look what you've done

Took the beauty from the night
Just when it was shining most bright

Take the grace from the sun
and there you are shining as everyone's smiling
Yes, you've come

There's a whisper in the crowd
And there’s a quiet confirmation unheard
You can see they’re coming
for you, eyes wide open

Like they never had the rights to fantasize,
you’ve sized their expectations
hypocrites, all of them are burning
with aspirations …

Look what you've done

I was waiting in the crowd
waiting for the resounding
applause to shroud

You’re quiet as you hear them
say, all the dreams break
out and its still day

And though it never rained
Under wet clouds
I was hoping they'd sprout,
so you'd know what has become

Look what you've done

When I wouldn't know what to say,
say I can count on you to hear,
to know what I meant when I was
never able to say

All along
I was salvaging silent reverberations

Give me back my point of view,
one that I lost when,
when you turned up as you

I can hardly say what you should
choose or what I could have done
Yet it seems like so much fun,
knowing you and living the seasons in the sun

I wasn’t living for anything or anyone
Nor was I ever riddled into
this conundrum

This is right where you started to run

Look what you've done . . .

Like a pearl you just slip out
and the ocean is all glum

When night won't let go of the day
there'd still be those waiting,
holding to a hope someway

Knowing, lurking behind this is you
Holding the answers to this problem
riddling away to hearty fun

Making way on
the stairway to heaven
Ah! Sweet Mystery of Life

Look what you've done!

And there's no one oblivious,
no one who's unaware
of what you've become

There nothing for you
to prove except that living is so
much fun ...

Angels I’ve heard are on a high

Look they're all
dancing in the rain
and swimming in the sun

No one's hiding from the wind
Living seems like so much fun

Look what you've done

And it seems like the years have run
and the moments uncharted
would never get heard

I am trying to hide
from the crowd you've
build around outside
and all they know is what you've become
while you're trying to come undone

Just look at what you've done

I can hardly hear you say
What should I do, well you choose
Life, like an hourglass is slipping away

If I get it all down on paper,
it, like you would no longer be all sacred
inside of me...

These words may not be special,
not songs everyone can use
yet you know
they are how you and I become

Oh! its mellow outside and
I can see you're climbing up
the sun but while there,
just look down beneath

My composition is incomplete
and you're flight has just begun

Look what you did
and
Look what I've done …