Poet and his muse II

I wake up each night
As I see her mingle
and pry
Through longing
and perseverance

All I hear is laughter
And no word of
pain or writhing

She's never wry

The night comes and
goes at a hefty pace

Yet there are spaces
to his longing
and her dawn

Sometimes I feel,
my losses pile up
And I feel I’m losing
the meaning of gain

To such an extent
that I think
I can never face
love again.

But you challenge me
to embrace the pain
You strengthen my will
to resolve again

And debar the
painful thrusts
of evil

My own sinful choices
that drive you away

Long cherished,
my muse

Why do I not see you
in the bright, long day?

To be seen
for what they really are,
are my longings,
the opportunities
for my love
and your grace

Abandonment,
not quite there yet
but the fleeting discomfort
is wild and unrestrained

Uncontrolled
yet freely intrepid

You expose me,
to me, know me
for who I am

So without
condemnation or guilt
Slowly but surely
I learnt to belong

Like grains of sand
guided and left ashore
by a receding wave

I'm concave to the
feeling that left me
withdrawn, abrupt

The whirling street
leads to a sordid turning,
foaming river of love

Dangerously
beckoning me to come
are the ethos
that threaten
to dash my life away

This love,
that's taken its toll
still woos me to remain

I love you,
I know not how much

All consuming love...

Your gently fierce touch
I have lost the meaning of time
and regained sensibilities

I was so afraid to touch

My love's still
not all self-formed
Demeaning or demanding
that my needs be met

My muse, you amuse me
with a love
that frees me
from the bondage of self ...

Remain or unbelong
Let me not change
like the wind
into storm

I lack the world
but the will to seek you
How can I surrender
if what I seek is you...?