Tonight

And so here we stand
and it feels like clay
I'm further slipping away

the moments that were,
are, and would've been,
would not now see
light of the day

In our secret place
for the turn of sweet grace
there were solemn vows,
with a pair of longing eyes
observing kindling flames
and a sweet embrace

So how do I say,
(how did you say)
Do I say goodbye?
We both have our wings
both want to fly ...

Lets take tonight
to carry us through,
the memories will last
for eternity

All of those fears
that were lost in the pain,
would never find there way
to hound your ways again ..

Thats a hope
somewhat it may already be true,
then fire on one end
and calm rupture on the surface brew

There's a new sun rising in the sky
echoing voices it will not lie
Screaming from the rooftops
nothing will ever come

To give it another try
and think of things to change
The idea is now too abysmal
and the thought estranged

Just a hint of
shape of things to come
The old realities
will make way
for the future tonight

The sweet revolution,
countless resolutions
Will they finally
make way,
evoke an evolution?

If fear and hope will
come to see
us blessed besides
affirmity

The haunting shadows
will soothe in moonlight
and brightness will begin
with the switch of light

We'll be up and watching
if another one tucks in the pain
The future's coming in
and tonight has come of age

as tomorrow is now today ...

Love Actually

I can feel your essence
as I walk into my room
Its still winter
yet the spring seems
to be in full bloom

Absence makes the
wait longer,
makes the heart stronger
and the love to last evermore

Your absence makes
the memories fonder
and my heart ponder
as I slip
into nights of full moon

No heart no strife,
no heart no life
I pronounce every moment
of my glory
null to this decide ..

They said
'Give away your heart,
though it is your best part'
Give it away and
you'll never fear the dark

The heart strings
that play the love chords
tonight
have some ties
to those sacrosanct tears
that flow far away
from your eyes

And I think
that my thinking of
you all through the night
or day
is my silent wish,
my affirmity
to say

I'd never want life
to be any different,
for you to be closer
and never away

I whisper to the regrets
those that brought
immense gloom
I whisper off
all my secrets

I carry a will
to never let this music
off my heart

The smell of flowers
still fresh,
just like the crimson arc
from the love it did accrue

No more walking around
the only road
I thought I could take

I am walking down
alien paths now
learning to make my ways

Had it been another day
another, say
another year
I would still be lying confused
holding on to all my fears

A lifelong of love
is what we need anytime
and even now
A love of our own and forever
as one ..

Juxtaposition

Exasperation,
constantly recurring
condition
No voices
for rendition,
this
experience of submission

Often leading to perspiration
Inhibitions
driving my respiration
towards consecration
Mentating over
possible
veneration
and the losing
essence of the
probation

Needless then to bind
the confederation
Hollering any
altercation
Sleepless nights
causing
collocation
intermingled
with dehydration

All but the symptoms
of the dying
reverberations
Never rising to the occasion
and to top it all
opportunity
knocking
once a generation

Denied an escalation
just like the feeling of
growing constipation
Still driving down
the never station
holding onto a few
priceless situations
that keep me hopeful

Of the possible progressions
and yet life
brings its share of dissipations
well knit
with the bundle of celebrations

Mere consolations
sometimes
in moments of affirmations
wily situations
vindicating
every possible
allegations

Pretty light above my head
goes bleak everytime
with little to no
variation
As voices lacking
hope
seek affirmation

Resonance
darkening my hues
when I reach within to calm
the desperation

Come when I call..
I am not left with
any more allegations

Nobody's Home

Passing through the corridors
searching for the traces
once more

Forging through
the forgotten,
leaping back and forth
like the abandoned tide on the shore

Memories are hard to let go
Faces whispering
cornered in shadows

Don't know
what belongs where
and where it is to go

It lies where it does
broken inside
with no semblance of a glow

Yet everything is not broken
folded within
are pieces bonded
and caressed with thoughts

My circle of life
is still blooming fair
traces of contours
still sigh down
and stare

Tell them not to find,
love endlessly
Celebrations and
obituaries would still flow

Unable to forget
are those
who can't forego
Mind wandering
in lust
of serviling meadows

Hard to be secure
when everything seems
so obscure
the only feeling
of being sure,
of not needing anyone
anymore

Shelter's lost
as the storm wiped
up the core

All my moments of faith
that made me who I am
lay outside the window,
drying up forever
Stories that were made for us ..

I can barely recall
any of them being
intermittent to my call

Behind closed doors
the visions will still play
we'll see what we want
to see
Till life opens up a way ..

The storm will never end,
the spark that makes
power grow,
the reasons that keep
you mum and moving
will emerge

Halting all thats on show...

Twilight

The light's leaning on the shore
and like your eyes
its grazing through the core

Once again,
the tides are compelled to flow
one more sailor is
losing the meaning of flow

Down by the sea
he searches for a hidden treasure
dancing soulfully
toasting his own displeasure ..

As the moon now
is far ahead
leaving behind
its empty cage

As our lives are now
a few ramblings
invisible beneath
the crumbled, clear page

Sail me through the coast
any cost, I'd get braver
through impenetrable
waters of the misty night

Is my hope running adrift
I can see you walking
down on the
shore

Perhaps my eyes
are still grieving for an encore
and tears diving
into the center
and immersing into the pure
memory

Searching for the lost
pleasure
as your hands go
prepare shadows for the night

Until we are the only dark spaces left behind..

All apologies ..

If this was ever
meant to be,
a profound insanity
Yet how am I
ceasing to flee
into anonymity

Choking on
the sins with glee
Riding on a memory
Ain't there a way
less ordained
I would not
let remained

When does wish arrive?
I don't have to scribe,
hoping for a turn
nascently concerned

All in all
we're born to err
and
all we deal with is
all we spur

On the run
I had no fun
on the run
I feel someone
still the one
who waits with yearn ..

Does it help to know
you're there
Just as much
as the feeling
of wishing
you'd care

I wish
it was, to not wish
the wishfulness
the chronic way

I am purging
to make reparations
as you think
another dawn
is immersing at bay

Silhouette,
the nest of my dreams
Absolve
the mercy of dismay
To know it all
and yet never having
to say ..

6 A.M

There is nothing bright
not even
the roadsigns seem
to glow
just a bleak light
staring
refusing to
let silence
numb the core

Frozen memories
well up
as concurrent vision
eludes sight
I stare blindly
waiting for twilight

You say you recall
nothing at all,
bringing yourself down
from where you said
you'd never want to fall

The blank road
keeps no sign
or lineage
of the passengers ways

So
lately been wondering
who is it that'll fill up
that space?

A ditch in the road
and
some dust in the eyes
No matter
how fast I ran
It catches me unawares
from the inside

I thought this morning
will teach me
another survive,
to those thousand
reasons that brought
me to life..

This way, though leads
me where I've been before
The remnants of the touch
and still
fresh in my hands

I am driving
through this road,
blindfolded
following you,
knowing
its a dead end road

It doesn't get
any brighter,
no matter the
flick of the hands
of the wrist may deny

I've the late goodbye
replaying back and
forth in life

Perhaps
I sat up all night
or there's
something I've done
I just cant over run

See you when
you're back to Hyde ..

Not all relations have names

Somehow you were sure
it couldn't remain
Somehow the cure
was to refrain..

Maybe I was dreaming
and all the smiles
I did make
but till I awake,
can we make this moment
last forever?

I know you cant wait
And maybe dreaming
is all that it takes
but where is the purpose
in love's death
and where's is the grim
in my eyes

When I wake
you'd not know the shake
The tremors will be feeble
and the spell will be hard to break

The truth that you
shriek,
is what makes me fly
Fly away from
mortality and self
and hide myself
this denial

I'm guessing of the remains
while losing sleep
fighting over these
invisible tears
that you never did weep

Its an odd hour to
stray
and lingering thoughts
will take you astray

Take shelter
in the zone
while it reaps
its your swansong

And the things that I can,
that I still want to be
with every thrust and stab
you know the
fast fading blossom
sheds another pearly fear,
a petal for longing years

My aspirations
my muse
are more fanatic than before
and yet they are naught
but fathoms,
that still drive you down the shore

The waves that wet dreams divide
are your aspirations for someone like me
yet when found burgeoning
release of my problems
will still be me

You can't shake my spirits
its my dreams you'll break
and
Of the games
we have played all year
the hide and seek
that lasted longer than the tear

I am having trouble finding
who I am
to singe you from my craves

Our song’s the same
the dusk dawned dull my dame
Hear it play from your heart,
that you claim

Not all relations have names ..

Inhibitions

I see
where they come from
I know they're there
and
its so because you decide

When it began,
there was a silver lining
and
beneath it
a vow, which
said you choose to decide

You could still
run and hide
hold back
and
let it slip
or
hold back
and let it rip..

See every drop
of that falling drip
and never quip

Comes only,
when you sternly decide
Let sensibility prevail
and
die serendipity die..

Even as you'd no longer
to your instincts abide

Cant you see you're
simply keeping
the past alive..

Not caring, if it hurts
in search for control
a beautiful mind, yes
but what about
the listless soul?

Eroding morality
or
protruding profanity
take a cue,
everyone around
is just out to outdo

There ain't
no mended walls
I see no one
is ready to stop and care

I wish the wait
would end and
all that's moving
would stillness numb

It holds my dreams
it binds my roads
and even the ways
to those skies

What would I want?
What should I still want from you?
Why would I seek
when guilt lounges
and doubt threatens to
prolong their pursuit?

I can't live with
the truth and
yet what would delusions reap?

Pushing the door open,
that opens memories
Oh no, keep it closed
My indignation further
retracts
and disappears
as I see you steep..

Inhibitions,
they keep you
from reaching yourself
keep all emotions at bay

Never resting
yet restlessly
pushing away

Purpose then
presents a skewed view
and yet those shadows never
come to view

People say
this is the truth,
anything that leads
to painful disbelief
thirst-quenching pour
of soul-emptying grief

But
before I choose
to go there again,
remind me of where it all began

No good standing
with it in your withhold
hiding it behind closed doors
and unbolting
it from time to time
to keep the wounds sore

Why settle for something
that was once told..

To live in restraint
when life offers love,
abundant and free

A place for serenity
lest
intermittent sunlight

What is life
if not full of care
Does restraint
really take you away
from your fear?
How is life lived without
letting yourself be?
How do you constrain
self-imposed misery?

There are no answers,
the ones there are
are nestled within
to exhibit
the inhibitions
at play..!

Silence and Solitude

Hold my fears,
you caress my dreams
Unfold like a mystery and
bend like the road

Silent my anonymity,
a grimace on false claims
Bring forth the smiles
and nullify the abysmal remains

The jocund feelings
are fast melting
the efforted laughter
is steadily sulking
and
the ongoing pursuit
is relentless
despite
fate's apparent dismay

The exhaustion
that is deeper
the tiredness
more than hunger,
the longing for comfort
that is more than physical

Time for the body
to reach the soul,
reach out in time
and seize control

Is life full of spaces, that makes
living distant after all?
Letting go is hard,
its almost cruel
that something
beautiful must rise
only to fall

Amongst everything else
that is dying,
is hope of it being
like before
Life, no longer recognizable
for what it used to be

The greatest effort
though
is to remain
faithful
to promises and
oblivious to
perishing flames

When will I retain
from all that
I must refrain..
Grieving in silence,
choke the sin
and
not the blow

When I was anonymous
you didn't come to know
and when you did
you didn't show
there ain't to grief
to fight
when you know
you know you'll be alright
and
nothing is ever alright
if silently
one is drawn
without a fight ..

The question

Should I?
maybe not
there is a divide,
I know no answer
and more and more
complex, keep
getting these
thoughts

Is it a web,
I for my own self spun?
How am I to escape if I am not
willing to run?
Where would I go if I choose to?
How far from myself can I run?
The confrontation
has long been made
the sanity, yet my mind
long evades..

Why do I see
all that goes unnoticed
under the sun?
I didn't choose to be
this way..
If I could
I would question
the way I've become

A bundle of questions
and not a spare thought
Requiems of dreams
in my eyes and
yet a cure far away
from entering my thoughts

Its not that anyone
voluntarily loves pain
the misery may be
complimentary
and the discomfort
is something that
consistently remains
yet its substantivity
is most vivid
unremitting any gains

The answers they say
within our cast lie
They never seem
to pop up in time
though
is an inconvenient truth
that none can deny

The other morrow
of questions that's true
is they compound
if they residue
and
moreso when you
know there's nothing
you can do..

The silence answers
what the thoughts hold back,
the thoughts
hold back
what the mind is not ready
to view
and the mind evades
every possibility of
a discord that
discombobulates thoughts anew

The quest remains
for the answers to,
one and all
A moment of inner conflict
and the umpteenth resolve
a vindictive pledge
to later salvage the fall
and
a monosyllabic
silence
for the long overhaul ...

Diminutive

Now thats nothing new
feeling of being
humbled
in one's own view.
What you can't see
you cant show
what we know
they can't take

Its very small,
the distance
between victory
and disgrace
to resuscitate
and call off the vision before
feeling humbled
and nothing more..

From where I stand
you'll see a point
of no return,
between hell
and redemption
no sky pressing
down to own me
yet I stand
testimony of that
my state
I look down
upon myself and
can't find the traces
of my feet..

From where they look
I'd be a blot
about round, dead
in center,
one big spot
A blot on the insignia
blocking the view

Again, nothing new
The same old inconsequentaility of
this being true, an afterthought
and equally so,
of being asked to refrain
there is no calmness when
you know
no matter what you do
It'll never be the same again

Oh sinnerman!
where you gonna run to?
where do you think
it would run that deep?
I ran to the lake
it was bleeding
I ran to the sun
it was boiling
I ran to the sky
it was falling down
I ran to the dream
and you came true
I was pursued by
truth at last
and all that I never had
came back in view..

Now consider
the response
of gravity to tears
consider the homage
we pay to our fears
Look within to the
gray we hide

Shuffle the colors
and no one
would ever know,
take what you can now
and of what remains
send the pain below..

Hope floats

Chances are it may never be
for what you question is
destiny
and
what you
forsake is the truth itself
benumbed into oblivion
with accolades
by your side
I see your smile is
far away
I see the life is falling away
and
I know you see it too

I know you've got things
to do
places to be
and purposes to pursue
but where does it all go
when
deviant you sit
on the the
threshold of nascence

Chances are that
without love
you'd still be
somewhere living
amongst those pursuing
purposes that you never did withdrew
join in the ranks
and
forget the shades of the sun
or the white satin
of the moon
wishing someone
you'd guide the light
in your heart
through and through
The rules and logics don't
apply or else
I wouldn't be here wishing
but with you hoping
for it to continue ..
Feeling so at ease
within yourself and
I wouldn't be wishing
being someone else ever again
dreaming of the future
in the dreams we'd see tonight
and if it were any other day..

Chances are that you may
say my name
somewhere in your screams tonight
and
I'll be here wishing ,
thinking
it'll soon be alright,
all that keeps the
night alive in your eyes..
Floating in the myth
of despair
and
somewhat certain I am
you'd be feeling it too
conjoined fate blessed us
with mirth and misery
true ..
I'll be hoping for the future
I'll be praying every night too...

Chances are dreamy eyes
might bind me
into the vision I seek
with every sight
Somewhere amongst the wishes
I couldn't pursue
I wouldn't want this one
to be
keeping me far from
someone who I better than
myself knew
with your questions
for the answers
I'll be digging up beyond
the inane
and reaching
the answers that are but just remains

Chances are pages may flip
and
none of this might come true
Smiling, like in my last reminiscence
your memory may perpetuate me
again
into someone I never knew
coming of age
I'd live on with the memory
of a facebook
I learnt to synonymize
with life

Hope floats and so does love
with wings that
were once aflutter
the sun will rise
and
the flight of fancy
will fast capture
the leap of your imagination too

Chances are chances may never come
life but then would never cease
for delusions that
bolt just what we view

You'll still be smiling
when we meet
and I'd still be arguing
with the reasons to pursue ...