Delete

The conversations have been moved to trash
and the assertions that erred me apathetic
to any more more words of revival,
are now, out to haunt me no more

Where'd you go?
Why'd I never know?

What I'd done and
what'd that have meant to know?

The distances that earlier prolonged the joy
have now numbed me into sleep
and turning over the pages,
the old pictures
no longer make me weep

The closed door
that never slammed in my face
that last phone call
that parted our ways
and the last sight
before your entity disfigured
from my gaze

Where it hurt and where it ached
the feeling of emoting
I lost the bitterness of distaste

Goodbye, so long
It's hard to part
wish you begin to
live at once
once again

if there were things
we shared, closer
than the ones
that made us part

I'd live believing
hopelessness never did us in
We walk alongside ever day
even if the roads bend
while we cast away onto
inward shores...

stoned alone

marched to restraint
carved to hone
bated for ill fate
proven to be right
and yet when wronged,
wronged alone

cast in fragments
and wizened in haste
purported to be a fundamentalist
and risen to bitter distaste

the starry starry aztec blue
and the honed craft of a wispy night true
humbled in the din of as dewdrop high
cast atop a mountain too far to sight

blink the blurry bastion blaze
and firth the fuzzy forlorn furthering flight
and may the might muster this make
for whatever we fear losing
will always be on stake

hope in hope that dreams break at noon
and break them mild so the echo dies soon
and when you can hear it inside
you can let it go...

but it hurts when you can see,
when you see it
blow
by blow

what's the reality, who wants to know
it's in the fantasy where I have my say...

Broken Wings

Many nights, I lay here and I suffer
Many nights, I just sulk in wonder
feeding on your songs
fot knowing what went wrong

words are just superlatives
you gave your word
and we pledged to live

I believe you
I believed you

and I believed in us and everything
every time I was going down,
I knew I was losing myself
to be found
by you

Now I was not blind
but you became my eyes
I was still strong but
came and took away my lies

And I hold myself in that moment
and shed tears sometimes
words are all I have
with these moments
that now just don’t seem to rhyme

To turn back clock, I do
and I know it gets me there
wanting those shoulders
why did we get older
or move ahead to where
our decide got broken
to where our strides grew colder

At work and in the crowd back home
sometimes I just find myself alone

Not knowing who I can call my own,
not knowing anything anymore
somewhere between
not wanting to know
and not wanting anything anymore


My unsurety about life
and all the things to do with you
I call pure
I stare down the road that leads me back
to me…

Many nights I lay here in wonder
entangling further in this
spell I’m under
people around me tell me to move on
I’m not sure of progress though
If such is it’s concluding form

I pray still that no bitterness
rests in me but
I can love more certainly
whenever it comes pure

Ah I don’t think of love
I don’t think of love anymore…

शायद...

सपनों की परतों में
आसमान के साए हैं
गेहुएं इस मंज़र की तस्वीर
से बेदाराख्त मुरझाएं मौसम
भी अब अपने हमसाये हैं

खुलते-सिमटते अश्कों में हम अशफाक
एक नफीस बज्म उनकी आहटों की लाये हैं
राहों में तोह थे मोती भी
मगर जहाँ नज़र थमी
बस उसी मिटटी की रौशनी,
हम राहगीर बन सिमटे ख्यालों की कश्ती
में बशर कर पाए हैं

मिले नही जो उनसे तोह क्या ग़म
वोह हमारे न भी हो सके
तोह क्या क्या हम उनके कुछ कम हैं?

जिनसे मिले हैं उनसे कितने जुड़ पाये हैं
और जिनको खो दिया ख़ुद की खोज में
उन्हें कैसे यादों से जोड़ पाएंगे?

शायद राह में कही खो दिया ख़ुद को
और कुछ मौसम से बदले रंग
हम कुछ टूटे सपने के हमसाये हैं
कितने आसमान सर पे
और कितने धरती क़दमों पे राहगीर है

उतरती चद्ती इस मिटटी की खुस्बो में
बी हर अक्स का इक इमान है

पूछें कितने ख्यालों से?
सहमे, गुज़रे, कुछ भूले बिसरे सालों से
खोज ये ऐसी जिसमे
खोजने वाले ही सबके भुलाएं हैं

पाने के क्या मायने और खोने
पर कितनी जुस्तजू तृप्त है?
हमसे तो खोज की परिभाषा है
जिसमें जीते तोह भी पाने को
कुछ अजीम, कितनी अनमोल है

फिर चले मूँद आँखें,
पराया सपनो को
खोज में उसकी, जिसने सिखाया मतलब
ज़िन्दगी का...

Feeling this

courting the night
while growing too pally
with nothing new
holding onto shadows
while reflecting on what you said
of what I always knew

mourning in joy
for the loss in pain
standing tall in a dismantled world
passing through open windows
and closed doors again

Quite aware we're not dying
fighting with life for not trying
the ringing laughter in your lies
and the empty spaces
deep down below

what do you think?
where did the reasons go?

during the last chorus
and in the last verses,
in the background
lead me to the solo
when I'm not around

this is a sure revelation at hand
clutching at straws,
we're feigning at those in command
and crying for those
who've cried for smiles,
laughter in tears
while witness it all
mumbled in cheers

I'll admit I'm wrong
for it hurts like it's real,
bringing down every peaceful thought
I know somewhere my sanity went queer

I'll save you a last song,
if you promise to last the melody
from this night

Feeling this,
I lull the silence
to early morning echo
that starts with goodbye's

from the delusion
from the grandeur
from a muse's lullaby...