Addicted

To say what goes within
would be defining
all thats fleetingly unnamed
Holding, clasping it
uptight within
wouldn't either
be rationalizing its name
The din thats causing the storm
or a form of it
hard to say
All that was believed
and led to it
slowly but surely
melting away

That which we sense
and then there's the truth
between that agreed to
and the accepted
With a sense of what
its like to be
Leading from
oblivion
heading to infinity

Vows are spoken
as words are broken
Pleasure and pain
deceptively different
Yet byproduct
of a statute name
Familiarity breeding
contempt
Or,Insanity protruding
incessant attempts ..

Paint me then a picture
of the better days
Sunshine rather than
a lasting eclipse
on the freckled face
Laughter bursting
spilled tears
Into the space ..

Paint them good
I'm tempted to see
Paint back the time
to slow the years
and erode the memories
that obediently arrive
on reckless nights

With each stroke eliminate
the tears
The craving of the heart
that holds them dear
producing a refurbished
damsel with boyish charm ..
Knee scraped tears, upon my arm

The impulsive heart
self destructive
denying all else any harm ..

In the pain I know my release
does lie
Grant my wish to sleep, fairy
no wish to die
To close my eyes
to rest the unsettled mind
In this chaos,
I fathom .. my peace I shall find
More than words
that are ever said
Each line filled with meanings
never understood more than distressed

Addiction's root cause is denial
Its presence is ubiquitous
and its tales are trials
pain makes it look grim
Its the loss of logics
that averts the progress to prim
The loss of senses
or a vision blurred for all else
to see

What else then is there to hide ..
the invisible ties
that bring me
back and forth to life
Or the faith
that something
improbable to happen
Is floating through
the vast blue skies ..

I'm addicted
I confess .. to the pain
to the life .. of the tears and goodbye's