Amazing Grace


I caressed her loving hands devotedly
She let me examine
them patiently
before taking a look at my face,
deciphering it nimbly
like it was always so there, the artist she was
I felt her reach out through the space
and caress what was never in place

I stopped her, I did
and yet she let it graze
Her hands, more mature than I recall
appeared more tender
than her true age.

They were like two eyes
sensing every ounce of my grimace
hands of a real artist
searching for shelter in a desolate place

Suddenly
I knew I'd been indifferent too long
Impaled in self-disgust and
unable to run or belong
I turned my face away from her
to look at life without her trace

When she asked if she'd upset me
I whirled round for an embrace
but far too well ridden,
self reflecting on my rage
I had seen this moment
and lived it,
much before it actually took place

Shocked but tolerant,
she absorbed it all
without a freckle contorting on her face
Putting her arm to close my eyes
she made me see
What I had made, all around me

She turned it away so I could see
and all of it appeared
everything I wished for, with
all that I never wanted to be

Owning me when I was surrogate
she lit what was diffused to dissipate
" Nothing's wrong as far as I can see
We make it harder than it has to be "