Medicine

There are but few cures
to seal the pain

love procures

the seething pain

that drives you insane
no sleep or hunger

nothing but the trigger-happy feeling

of remaining bound by its refrains

they say it can easily kill you

and I say you are but a patient at best

if you were to remain

hoping and knowing

not asking or showing

patterns are nowhere

no maps or guides

bring out the torch, light the candles

oh the mysteries of this love,

they can keep you up
from daybreak to twilight

bound by surprises

hidden like treasured prizes
growing and gnawing
even if from a distance

you cannot fully know its gaze

its shines within your

and can light up your darkest days

a medicine that works

when none other can  

love is a potion

that's dwindling even in proportions 

try and go through

all the open doors
or look through the underground
all the way up to the core

if love is a pill
then I'm in love with medicine
and the doctor who came
up with this cure

for what love stands for
any lifetime is obscure...

Liar Liar

I set you free
from my mistakes and insanity

and there you will be

perfect in your serendipities

'cause there is one chance

that you I know you will not take

and that is to bet

on this bundle of mistakes...

I know you said you forgive me,

but was there any truth

speaking through you

or just misery tired of my lies?

I did ask you to cry in my arms

when I did become

the reason for your tears,

adding salt to the wounds

that I had fought

to separate all these years

Between you and me, 

we've weathered all storms

but perhaps none bigger

than these past few wrongs...

I know I cannot undo what I have done

and I know with every sad moment

that turns into regret

that I can't forgive myself
and you can't forget...

And if this is how it ends then 

forever suspended I will feel wry

and like a open wound

always think of 'why' 

I did lie to myself much more

is all I know

when I told myself
that I know who I am

and told you that 
I am sure...

FORGET

There are often moments in life

that we all long to forget

regret or otherwise

moments, we all relive

rather in disdain,
all in our head

We came across each other

at that certain time

you looking for hope

And me, just someone I could call mine

With friendship,
the bond grew

we began seeing things

no one else around knew

Days, weeks and months just melted

even from afar

As the distance blended into

our sacred, lovely moments' jar

One by one, we managed to untangle

the knots, 

and sort the anomalies that had earlier

shredded our hearts

Then love followed taking it to a level new

when I first felt your skin on mine

you felt our souls intertwined

It was all but a fairy tale, because this was true

slowly I was believing in love again

'cause I was being myself
and I was still being loved by you..

Time then borrowed wings,

hurried along before spreading the span

flew us into our quarters but not apart

longing gnawing a bittersweet pain

only to melt with a moment spent together

And one day when that moment finally came

our joy knew no bounds

We held hands and kissed too

and didn't know when to stop

Till boundaries seemed meaningless

and love flowed from the heart

All the long distance of longing

finally came to fore to soothe two raging hearts

Just short of a fairy tale

then followed a moment that made you wail

my inability to share things,

especially the ones that mattered most

almost sealed our fate

A fatal, forgetful sin

one I never dreamt of

even in my wildest dreams..

It began to bleed and the pain was too real

the tears in your eyes said much more

than the words you said or the ones I feared

all the time looking for things that could heal

but there was nothing to be found

You were my saviour,
my balm, my winning ground

And by creating a void in your happiness

I lost my baritone, a soundless explosion

that made hollow my throne

and no longer were you there,

my wings were clipped too

And the walls of my heart were stripped bare

along the corridors of pain
I stumbled along wisdom
and then some more 
and with your lingering presence 
rooted it back to my core

even from a distance
the journey then seemed a little less uphill
my peaks were still growing
and you were climbing still
and with your hands in mine
we gaped at the sunset
dipped in a glowing haze
to forget the misery 
that once beget..

Restraint

We both expect

but neither can relent

we both object

but neither can refrain sans the resent

made from our heart's mind

and bound by its make

we pursue our destinations

farther as they gallop in opposing directions

many seasons came and went

ample thoughts to lure the mind's vent

if only logics drove love

no  misery would befall this world

stuck like glue, I am meant to be with you

and you be with your dreams for now

and there someday I will reach

within the confined of our restraint

far as it seems as of now,

decimated as I look up to the sky

and you look down upon our remains

the only journey upward remains

maybe its a crazed belief

my heart's keeper, it is you that I seek

and without you, there really isn't any sight

let alone the differences between day and night

in innocent chambers of heart they dwell

for the feelings we left behind did swell

and compounded into desires bigger than our pain

how long can we live in this restraint?

जाने क्यूँ

सब कुछ पीछे छोड़

हम चले आये थे 

जाने तुम क्यूँ वापस चले आये 

जाने क्यूँ हमने तुम्हे आने दिया

घाव तो अभी भरे नहीं थे 

सपनों से अभी हम डरे नहीं थे

मौत से आगे बढे नहीं थे

ज़ख्मों में क्यूँ तुम्हे शामिल किया

ख़ामोशी से अभी भी नाता कहाँ हैं 

मन की सड़कों पे खाली यादें जमा हैं

बढ़ते तो सिर्फ कागज़ पे दिन है 

जाने क्यूँ बाकी अब तक यहाँ हैं

मिल कर भी मिल जो जाए तो क्या 

न मिल के जो खोया वो अब भी लापता है 

जाने क्यूँ अब भी तेरे सपनों में शामिल

हैं मेरे सपने जो कभी हमारे न बन पाए

मन्मर्ज़ियाँ जो बयान न कर पाएं
जो छुप जाएँ तो तुम बिन कहाँ जाएँ
जाने क्यूँ ढूंढें बस वोही जो न पाएं 
जाने क्यूँ

Toast

what gets a teetotaler to drink?

an ecstasy unimaginable

or a life on the brink

a whiff of love, or a morbidness coy

think of it as you may

but when the glass of wine

sips the lips

the reasons begin to fade away

and all love flows through wet eyes

melting the layers of pretense
lowering the guard,

the truth forever slipping through alibis

Poetic almost,
for if  anyone deserves to know

then its this caged bottle of wine,

with every sip it takes me in

and with every note

I gain myself unhinged

drinking they say makes you free
brings out the pain,
or let love become glee

Its an open road,
that can led you down
or let you fly

open some closed chapter
or raise the ones invisible
to the insipid eyes

my ecstasy was hindered to none,
or to be drunk on the name of one
covert and hidden in my mind's eye
bottled up, and sealed for any pry

And then I tasted this potion
the one that changed my notion
and even if for a moment 
it made me live out my dreams

I tasted your lips divine,
a candid ecstasy uncorked
with the whiff of wine

The melted candle
that kept burning like the night
igniting the long-locked emotions,
turning on the light..

You cannot know my love for you,

Even on the verge of death

I would go down gladly with a smile,
praying for you...

but before we grow old

I wish for us to not turn shy

lift this glass,
even if from a distance

and raise me a toast

to the banality; a roast

on the edges of the glass

my life turns round

with my hands locked in yours,

a pleasure unwound

these tiny sips spirit my desire

inch you closer

or simply take me higher

up where you sit

smiling your mischievous smiles
laughing at my misery
as the joys begin to fade after a while

I wonder after sipping the brew
if my life changed, or simply I did
by unlocking the bottle,
and that part of you in me

Either way, soon it will be a trend
to reach out to you my love
even if through the eyes
of my new found friend...

I need more intoxication now

before reality wins
Open arms lingering in wait
and a mind open towards sin...

ज़िन्दगी 

आ चल बांट लें
ज़िन्दगी ये पूरी 

थोड़ी तुम्हारी,
बाकी अधूरी

गुमसुम सी बातें,
रातों की बातें

वोह बातें जो
कभी न हो पाएं पूरी 

कुछ मेरी तरह
कुछ तुम्हारी
सी बातें 

शरमाई सी
कुछ मुस्कुराहटें

सिमटी से उनमें
हमारी ये रातें

ले चल वो यादें,
कुछ मिटटी वो भूरी 

माथे पे रख कर,
मांगी जिनसे दुआ थी

सिमटे कहाँ हैं,
बादल बन उड़े जो

तेरे केसुओं में लिपटे
मेरे लफ्ज़ अधूरे

दामन में सिमटे
तेरी आहट में बैठे
अरमान जो निकले
साँसों सें उड़ कर 

ले चल वहां 
जहाँ रास्ते नये हो 

मंजिल तुम्हारी
मेरी तुमसे ही पूरी

चल दे जा कुछ यादें
अब रातें हैं काली
आँखें है खाली
सपने से बढ़ गयी है दूरी 

ज़िन्दगी तो बहुत है
है कम तो बस सांसें 
सबसे बड़ी है
बस यह जीने की मजबूरी

Sure

We love from distance

because we're sure,

we love despite resistance

because we couldn't be anything

or anyone anymore

The care is lasting,

our love is a storm

There ain't a nightmare,

we can't take head-on,

we've been reckoned this way...

From the sultry nights

to the dizzying heights

keep me sane from the maddening flight

that is you and I...

We love from our might,

a form or shape peculiar to world's gaze,

smirking at the horizon,

making merry in this haze

You and I have a story to tell,

and we'll tell it right,

swinging back and forth in measured paces,

oblivious to any fright,

we'll get there alright...

What you are to me,

no one will ever know

an infinitesimal energy,

a bundle of hope, a resting place

Oh, death will come to me slow...

all the secrets of this life I now know

Marching fervently in tepid directions,

and reaching out for the impossible life,

spreading thin the sorrows,

wafting out the realities too,

and dreaming till it's daylight

Oh, the nights hang in wait...

curling up in all directions

as you and I are kept at a distance

the wait gets unbearable at times

as reality gets too hard to take 

So you see,

I wait for you on the other side,

at the cusp of the circumference

where light illuminates those virgin grounds,

where rasping voices sing solemn blues,

and memories yield more than teardrops...

flying as we go,

right past the rainbows' hues

playing our own tracks,

as life takes cues... 

Moments

Tick tock... tick tock

the clock moves like you

vowing never to stop

I sit back and watch sometimes

as minutes turn to hours,

hoping to find moments with you

listen to the stories

swept in time,

sing you a song

as our lyrics rhyme

to get close to you,

even from a distance

and rest within you when near

you smile at my wins

up from the sky

wipe my sins 

and sing sweet lullabys

hold my fear, set free my djinns

shine like the sun

make the earth grin

warming it with your glow

or perhaps the all pervading moon

you are visible

but to only those who know

like a night shining in your wisps

silent and hidden

from the prying eyes

you slip into my being

when I begin to feel low

take every step ahead

before I know...

चल दिए

एक दिन आया
खुद को पाया


खुद से जो मिले
सब कुछ आया


सब कुछ जो मिला
कुछ भी न मिला


जब कुछ न मिला
खुद को पाया


खुद से मिलकर
कुछ ख़ुशी हुई


कुछ ख़ुशी मिली
ग़म भी आया


ग़मगीन रहे ख़ुशी रूठ गयी
हँसना भूले रोना आया


रोते रोते रात गयी
सुबह उठे नया दिन आया


नए दिन का नया सुरूर था
फिर क्यूँ कल में जीने का फितूर था


जब सोचा तो समझ न आया
फिर रात ढली सपना आया


सपने जो थे अपने जो थे
गिन गिन कर उनको अपनाया


कुछ छूटे थे कुछ टूटे थे
आँखों में थे पर रूठे थे


कुछ खो कर भी कितना कुछ पाया
तुम जो आये, सब कुछ आया 


मंजिल भी मिली रस्ते भी दिखे
उन रास्तों पर खुद का पाया


दिए चल उस डगर पर, छोड़ पीछे अगर मगर, डर
राहों में हमारी तुम जो थे

CONTINUUM

keep me where the light is

let me see while I can

strengthen my defenses

while I learn to fill out each blow

Hang me in silence

but don't keep me out of reach

while you go wondering

I'll be learning to breathe

hear me tender and dig down deep

with arms wide open

see the sky under which we seethe

and know the boundaries don't exist

fly by me in the hungered terrain

lean on me when it fails to rain

and shelter me in me

what seems inane

I'm learning to be full again

Even in your sleep

you can hear the cries,

the aftertaste of the dry-swollen eyes

think no more

and don't turn over a new leaf

its in the daylights that we can lose

what in the night we kept trying to seek

hope for answers that don't exist

keep shifting, stifling in time

moving on may seem progressive

only because there is no end in sight

Waking up the dead

Dead in someone's wake
there you go,
you're not living strong

Keeping all there is at stake
trying hard to croon someone else's song

Holding onto worse to make legions of reasons
appear from depths of the apparent abject glee

Stories that you hold within
and the caricatures that only breed captivity

Discern the foretaste that it's out to control
translated into madness
even reasons take their toll

Nothing is fair, nor innocent,
I keep wondering
if it'd be
how, what, when it'd accrue

My sadness in these meaningless words
and the dead first passion
that was buried in this curse

waking and wailing, the bitter demise
of all that was there to hold

Hung from the sky a hangman's noose
swinging wildly to blow the gazer's fuse
out and out the will to die
slowly make the living senile

Glowing amidst a recluse adobe
withering the winter of despair
fighting the demons in the land
and the spirits in the inner lair

Holding onto hope and just that
till the breath is full of air...

Death at a funeral

I went to a funeral today
I had nothing better to do
I wept and cried among the scores
the reason for my fears,
I wish I knew

I cried perhaps for the one who left
If I would have been happy with her around
I wish I could let her know
or hold it within well enough
till we both could become so sure...

The tears seemed to ease their pain
for me they served up an alibi
a forum to grieve amongst the grieving
and writhe amongst those wry

The grief of losing
we all know too well
but till it hurts
you don't feel it come alive

Living in truth is acceptably blurred to all
till we all get too disconcerted by lies

The dead ask me, whose more alive?
The dead task me their lies
and those alive aghast at their sins
and bury the truth again

Am wondering how many are dead here
and for how many can I cry

I know death comes to all
and someday it'll turn up this road too
blind curves, as many of those around
as they are

They say death puts things up
that life couldn't show
She said the same thing
and now I wonder as to how did she know

Something precious whenever gives way
you look around more concerned
towards the things and those that did stay
and thank God
for you aren't the one
attending a funeral today.

stoned alone

marched to restraint
carved to hone
bated for ill fate
proven to be right
and yet when wronged,
wronged alone

cast in fragments
and wizened in haste
purported to be a fundamentalist
and risen to bitter distaste

the starry starry aztec blue
and the honed craft of a wispy night true
humbled in the din of as dewdrop high
cast atop a mountain too far to sight

blink the blurry bastion blaze
and firth the fuzzy forlorn furthering flight
and may the might muster this make
for whatever we fear losing
will always be on stake

hope in hope that dreams break at noon
and break them mild so the echo dies soon
and when you can hear it inside
you can let it go...

but it hurts when you can see,
when you see it
blow
by blow

what's the reality, who wants to know
it's in the fantasy where I have my say...

Horror'scope'

They predicted with

blasphemy


what I never spoke


Held back with dignity


what I was prompted to say,
but never spoke


I testify the truth
is bland
to all those
who make merrily
delight



Lie gets one high,
though
truth is the vision




No grimace, I'd vie
So lets look at the prediction
tonight
Destiny has is
that you're going down



miracle says
you're coming back alive

And they say it everyday


until you fall for it
or off without it



Candidly admitting what

you wanted them to say



Of life and pain,
separation and gain


no facet untouched no

emotion


that would reveal more than

it would say



'Today is the day of reckoning'
'Make it happen while you may'


'If's and but's will come to plague you'





and that is when you


turn away


fall behind the shades


and let the horrors scope their way ...

Freefalling

To let go of freedom
and hold thoughts captive
To reach acclaim
and keep the insanity active
The awake into disaster
and regain dreaming by midnight

To not let
the misery get to you
to keep mediocrity out of view
things that become
out of reach,
what we wish then
is all that's offered
'in lieu'

The voices call and
they want to take over
the memory falls
and it wants to play longer
as I stand and wait for a
cue,
a resolution no longer in view

I hope you know
when anger gets to us all
we can sulk and take it out
or fall
But when we look around
there wouldn't still be anything
new
in longing up late
or lately longing, for so long
Can you make the screams
heard to those far away?

I say nothing
I do nothing
I wait for it to disappear
I hold nothing
I fear nothing
I am entrenched in darkness
ear to ear

Oh Emily!
Rose may then but be a rose
but life is far too rosy
for sweet prose
Every rose has its thorns
and
every happiness is also armed

I'll tell you the deal
nothings meant to be real
and
what's being built will
eventually give way,
the statues will lie
and those passing
by will cry,
tell loved ones
stop living in fear!

Yet nobody seems to get it
No, they still don't
have a clue
everybody whispers
egg faced, not knowing
that while falling
splendid is the view ..

Perfect étrangers

Me rappeler où nous avons rencontré
Mais d'abord, nous avons rencontré avant?
Je pense que je suis sûr
Je sais
Que vous savez
Vous savez pas qui je suis

Mais regarder à l'intérieur et à
Posez-vous
Si vous souhaitez à présent à pied
Vous sentez indifférent
Luck ne sort
Rassemble
Tous que personne ne peut secouer

Que voyez-vous?
De combien il serait vous croyez
De combien il va vous obéir
Et
Tenir à l'intérieur, la manière traditionnelle

Je vois qu'il vous fait sourire sein
Vous le savez, je fais
De même que le monde nous
Vivre dans la

Oh combien faut-il
De perdre ce que nous construisons autour
Jusqu'à quelqu'un vient de secouer
Et
Construire la nouvelle
Comme vous le feriez
Ensuite, vous savez
La personne n'est pas un inconnu plus

Et de la prendre ensuite
Pas très rapidement
Enrichissant de
Plus d'amour que vous cherchiez
Lorsque vous avez trouvé
Et sa floraison
Quand ses plus sombres

Dites-moi quelqu'un qui
Hait étranges coïncidences
Ils vous font croire
Il ya plus de gens
Comme vous
Il n'ya pas d'étrangers dans ce monde
Il ya un seul moi
Et un espoir que vous ..

Passages ..


We once began
and
made a book
We filled the pages
with
laughter,
stories
and sometimes
even tears ..
Some pages
had pictures
of moments,
when words were
thoughts guarded dear
when silence and a glimpse
meant closeness
far above this .. near
Some confrontations
and
inhibitions
apart,
few abrupt passages
we wrote
that went straight
to the heart
Some enacted emotions
and
deep distant fear
moments of unbelonging,
written
in crimson
playful memory,
holds them dear
The pages
that once began,
we never thought
would get old ..
the sketches of affection
would get burdened
in blue ..
Stories that
we wrote were
of a different kind
stories of feelings
undefined and sublime,
understood in moments
best summarized
by today
The pages had sounds
of moments
ringing,
in pearly laughter
and the assertion
of the solemn cheer,
when directions
made it all so clear ..
The exercises
were difficult
too
every step of the way
I would look upto you
Often the pages had
cliffhangers,
when the ending
would seem near
Holding onto feelings
the book lasted few tears ..
But now the book
is
at its end
Some stories, though
are left untold
Between the stacked
sheets of paper,
some dry rose petals
and
a marigold
Faster than the
days go by
were the moments
filled in the years
that were seconds
of fulfillment
to a lifetime of grey
The book has pages
like these in which
life still unfolds
I promise
hopeful perspective of
incompleteness
will not cease to behold
these stories,
I'll let unfold . . .

Great Expectations

Faith is not a nascent delight
Neither a bliss of mercy,
nor a freight paid en route
to twilight

As humans,
we're endowed with hope
A barrel of wishes
irreverent to any sunlight

Thoughts and feelings
rise like a tide from the
shore
Enchanted by the boundless
prospect
of whats in store ..

Hope travels
faster than words
And prayer faster
than agony is pursued
Vented feelings dissipate
and the ones upheld
seldom meet the truth ..

The love song plays
in the background
stirring hopes
of attaining, the love divine
A hopeless romantic in love
is one
hopeful of love true ..
And not one whining,
frail songs through and through ..

To expect in a way
is to live free
To let it influence perspective
Is what
cages a reason to mercy!

Of a few broken promises
Of a few circumstanced
true lies
Of vision spilled from
the eyes in the innate
darkness
Of flowing dreams
frozen to sight

With the ringing
of the laughter
that I rigorously abhor,
that
I keep falling for,
more and more ..

The unsaid words
that have now grown
unfelt too
All that was truth back then,
is now,
just what I said to you ..

Dream of a star,
perhaps
not quite apportioned to view

Like an incomplete meeting
preceding a painful song..
Purposes to guide us
that strive us to Unbelong

A lonely prayer on a silent
black night,
Few last whispers
before finally bowing to light ..
Losing the sight

Great expectations become
greater with life,
as disappointments
dissipate from view ..

Things that I think about
today
would tomorrow
render my vision eclipsed
for a view ..