FORGET

There are often moments in life

that we all long to forget

regret or otherwise

moments, we all relive

rather in disdain,
all in our head

We came across each other

at that certain time

you looking for hope

And me, just someone I could call mine

With friendship,
the bond grew

we began seeing things

no one else around knew

Days, weeks and months just melted

even from afar

As the distance blended into

our sacred, lovely moments' jar

One by one, we managed to untangle

the knots, 

and sort the anomalies that had earlier

shredded our hearts

Then love followed taking it to a level new

when I first felt your skin on mine

you felt our souls intertwined

It was all but a fairy tale, because this was true

slowly I was believing in love again

'cause I was being myself
and I was still being loved by you..

Time then borrowed wings,

hurried along before spreading the span

flew us into our quarters but not apart

longing gnawing a bittersweet pain

only to melt with a moment spent together

And one day when that moment finally came

our joy knew no bounds

We held hands and kissed too

and didn't know when to stop

Till boundaries seemed meaningless

and love flowed from the heart

All the long distance of longing

finally came to fore to soothe two raging hearts

Just short of a fairy tale

then followed a moment that made you wail

my inability to share things,

especially the ones that mattered most

almost sealed our fate

A fatal, forgetful sin

one I never dreamt of

even in my wildest dreams..

It began to bleed and the pain was too real

the tears in your eyes said much more

than the words you said or the ones I feared

all the time looking for things that could heal

but there was nothing to be found

You were my saviour,
my balm, my winning ground

And by creating a void in your happiness

I lost my baritone, a soundless explosion

that made hollow my throne

and no longer were you there,

my wings were clipped too

And the walls of my heart were stripped bare

along the corridors of pain
I stumbled along wisdom
and then some more 
and with your lingering presence 
rooted it back to my core

even from a distance
the journey then seemed a little less uphill
my peaks were still growing
and you were climbing still
and with your hands in mine
we gaped at the sunset
dipped in a glowing haze
to forget the misery 
that once beget..

Undefined

Take a pencil

and draw me a line

keep the distance

between us as a scale

and let the paper

capture the distance

the spaces between us...

let the paper not fail

to capture the divide

the meanings you see

and the reasons I hide

the book, full of paper

would run deep

and deeper it will go

bloated with the grey black lines

slowly narrower,

as the paper begins to show

Let not the echo of your breath

be deeply embossed in those lines

don't let the tears fray the mind...

this is death but the journey was life

and while it lasted

the paper was green

our hands together

filling up its seams

but now the white has conquered fear

in our minds, death forever near

Sure

We love from distance

because we're sure,

we love despite resistance

because we couldn't be anything

or anyone anymore

The care is lasting,

our love is a storm

There ain't a nightmare,

we can't take head-on,

we've been reckoned this way...

From the sultry nights

to the dizzying heights

keep me sane from the maddening flight

that is you and I...

We love from our might,

a form or shape peculiar to world's gaze,

smirking at the horizon,

making merry in this haze

You and I have a story to tell,

and we'll tell it right,

swinging back and forth in measured paces,

oblivious to any fright,

we'll get there alright...

What you are to me,

no one will ever know

an infinitesimal energy,

a bundle of hope, a resting place

Oh, death will come to me slow...

all the secrets of this life I now know

Marching fervently in tepid directions,

and reaching out for the impossible life,

spreading thin the sorrows,

wafting out the realities too,

and dreaming till it's daylight

Oh, the nights hang in wait...

curling up in all directions

as you and I are kept at a distance

the wait gets unbearable at times

as reality gets too hard to take 

So you see,

I wait for you on the other side,

at the cusp of the circumference

where light illuminates those virgin grounds,

where rasping voices sing solemn blues,

and memories yield more than teardrops...

flying as we go,

right past the rainbows' hues

playing our own tracks,

as life takes cues... 

Save Tonight

It's dark
yet there is no place
to hide

It's silent
yet voices threaten me,
mock my plight

I am being chased by
shadows and
there are no corners
that turn right

If only we could talk ...

I turn tables in my head
and I see no hope
thats does lend light

I run in circles
holding together
shapes that assimilate
my frail might

If we could talk,
would it make things alright
I don't know
I don't give reasons anymore
that make things seem alright

I see the dawn is breaking,

unmistakebly misty sky

is losing its blue

I spent the night wandering,

wanderlusting for

a living bringing me to you

Save tonight,

tomorrows are going to be few...

Find me

Closely
if you'll see
there is something
missing
within you
and
thats me

Folded within
deep layers
of thrust
is
the heart
that never
gave up on us

See through
the walls
and
embedded
echoes will
give way

Do try
to find me
I'd be in your way someday

Changes,
life teaches
those everyday
There are ones
to be lived
are
then there are those
that we
fear anyway

Bliss
in the darkness
for is me
is at most when
I find
a ray
of hope
and a picture
of you in my mind

You wouldn't
know
I'm still
here,
doing
what you thought
I left long back
there with you,
on the go

But here I am
and
my feet don't
move
My heart's blind
and
I do think I need those new

Come down from
the stage someday
and ...

Do try
to find me
I'd be the one in the last row to leave

Affinity,
no that lasts an eternity
who are
you and me
to curtail its flow

Life's a tide,
we're surfing on
its shore
and there is as much
life on the surface
as down below

And there on nights
that you sneak a look
out the window
you see an image
of yourself
sans the identity
that you so longed
in isolation to make

Notice now,
the things
you're running most after
are the
things you'll take longest
to make
are just like
those tears
you hid
when crying was most reveled
to our wake

In your sleep
and
out there
in the hay
there are no needles
that you need to put away
thread away
the longings, don't fear

When you come along,
bring me in

Find me
and
when you do, you'll know
I never did disappear ...

Silence and Solitude

Hold my fears,
you caress my dreams
Unfold like a mystery and
bend like the road

Silent my anonymity,
a grimace on false claims
Bring forth the smiles
and nullify the abysmal remains

The jocund feelings
are fast melting
the efforted laughter
is steadily sulking
and
the ongoing pursuit
is relentless
despite
fate's apparent dismay

The exhaustion
that is deeper
the tiredness
more than hunger,
the longing for comfort
that is more than physical

Time for the body
to reach the soul,
reach out in time
and seize control

Is life full of spaces, that makes
living distant after all?
Letting go is hard,
its almost cruel
that something
beautiful must rise
only to fall

Amongst everything else
that is dying,
is hope of it being
like before
Life, no longer recognizable
for what it used to be

The greatest effort
though
is to remain
faithful
to promises and
oblivious to
perishing flames

When will I retain
from all that
I must refrain..
Grieving in silence,
choke the sin
and
not the blow

When I was anonymous
you didn't come to know
and when you did
you didn't show
there ain't to grief
to fight
when you know
you know you'll be alright
and
nothing is ever alright
if silently
one is drawn
without a fight ..

Return to Innocence


The lovely little youthful days
the merry melancholy of indulgence
in persistence of the
mellow ways
catching feathers through summers
and
flying winters through windows
bedridden for days

I know not when I set out for
the shadows and left behind
the sun's rays
I accept not what my eyes
fail to show
I fear more things now, than I've seen
even, in places I wouldn't ever go

I hold out lies and don't feel
bad that god will count my sins
I hold my cries and don't feel sad
because thats what they do
and I am now a part of them

I polish my shoes
I clean my dress
I wake myself from sleep
and no longer fret
longing for any dress

I know where each road leads
where it turns and
why it bends
I know not which one
takes me out of the mess

I've outlived building blocks
and scraps of paper,
my companions of the day
I work on horizons now
ones that show me
more options that I ever could
think of, want or be in need of
I'd say

I was happy with my twig
it kept me busy all day
I was all at ease
in that mid summer heat
Until the spoilsport weather
revealed more shades
and made me sway ..

The comforts of life
now break my stride
The broom of time
swept me off my feet,
and threw my tears far in too deep

Leaving within
what I couldn't live with then or today

I wish I knew what to say
When to ask the sun to leave
and when to let the stars work their way..

I wish I'd have remained as
fascinated and intrigued as
I was then; now
by the role of the silver green today..

I'm best bewildered
speechless, without words
expressing to my own self
what I want to say

I wish to return to nonchalance
the sanity that
never would fade away

All in the eyes of a boy,
did someone say?

Jaded


When you're on your own
Do you think you fly high?
Just like angel
a beautiful white lie
On the wings of
discover
do you think there's different sky?

Drifting with an aimless wanderer
searching for control
I look for the lost feathers
that brought us up so high
The grounds lost
beneath the feet
and the different twists
that never did let it wry

When you were here in fall
I couldn't stop
to lose it all
and now regaining seems
pointless again
I'd sit here and mull
in distaste and identify
the why behind the
grimace

The weapons of words
and the thorns of
lull,
the gifts of memories
and the pain of lying still

What you brought is wrapped
caressed with my intrigue
the freedom of
afterthought hasn't let me
draw bleak..

Hints allegations and words
left unsaid
are jaded of affection
that
misspelled
vision for blur

This is for laughter
and all the black days
Jaded are memories
and merciless are the ways

Her - that I love, I wish to be free
free from within
and yet
of her to be me

Epiphany

The devil from
heaven does not arise
The hero hidden
behind
sunshine, no he's away

The problems
that you and I face
are ours to savor
and
ours .. all the way

I wish I would tell
you and explain myself
I know not
where
it didn't go right
that everything thats wrong
has to go down
without a fight ..

But with sweet candid
exchanges,
our ship saw
last light of the day
sinking till
every molecule of breath
could not overpower
reasons to stay

I exchanged pleasure
for misery
and
for all I know
Now, it won't go away

Day after day
I keep thinking away
and
I can't put myself
to sleep

Mentating over
the implications
Of having
to dive in deep
and
all the possible complications

All alone ..
between
bedsheets and thoughts.
Lasting
perspirations and
exasperations

Why .. such abysmality
is now my present's
abbreviation ..

Could you ever
smell my desperation?
Wide echoing silence
between all that I
ever managed to say ..

I trade tonight my
soul to the sole mercy of
your smile,
and I know
thats my absence
that will bring.
The balance to the
surfacing vibrations ..

My love turns
out to be my overkill
and
my life, aptly then
its cure..

Amongst your thoughts
again
I feel secure..
my love is my
epidemic
and its search, my cure

Though, I know
its going to be alright
I wonder after how many
remonstrations and
endless disclosures
will I overcome
the fright

And
embrace
what doesn't belong
knowing
it will never ever
turn true ..

Taking
the road that
further bends,
right where
I thought it'd end

I pray
someday
I don't discover
you surrendered to
coldness
for the fear of similar
implications ..

You and I,
and
to the
'we and us'
The days go by ..