Medicine

There are but few cures
to seal the pain

love procures

the seething pain

that drives you insane
no sleep or hunger

nothing but the trigger-happy feeling

of remaining bound by its refrains

they say it can easily kill you

and I say you are but a patient at best

if you were to remain

hoping and knowing

not asking or showing

patterns are nowhere

no maps or guides

bring out the torch, light the candles

oh the mysteries of this love,

they can keep you up
from daybreak to twilight

bound by surprises

hidden like treasured prizes
growing and gnawing
even if from a distance

you cannot fully know its gaze

its shines within your

and can light up your darkest days

a medicine that works

when none other can  

love is a potion

that's dwindling even in proportions 

try and go through

all the open doors
or look through the underground
all the way up to the core

if love is a pill
then I'm in love with medicine
and the doctor who came
up with this cure

for what love stands for
any lifetime is obscure...

Mirage

In a silent spot on the crowded train
I scream out your name
only to hear your echo
in my ears

With eyes shut tight
And ears holding up might
to suck out the light

The nameless faces pause for a second
And then go back to their ordinary lives
And take with them
the mirage that you were here...

The silent solitude and the empty bliss
together usurp any remnants of restraint
to let me see you with closed eyes
or envision with eyes open that you're here 

Undefined

Take a pencil

and draw me a line

keep the distance

between us as a scale

and let the paper

capture the distance

the spaces between us...

let the paper not fail

to capture the divide

the meanings you see

and the reasons I hide

the book, full of paper

would run deep

and deeper it will go

bloated with the grey black lines

slowly narrower,

as the paper begins to show

Let not the echo of your breath

be deeply embossed in those lines

don't let the tears fray the mind...

this is death but the journey was life

and while it lasted

the paper was green

our hands together

filling up its seams

but now the white has conquered fear

in our minds, death forever near

Find me

The world's greatest puzzle

revolves around the mysteries of the heart

where you stand

or what happens
when you fall apart

the mystery of a lost heartbeat

or sometimes a broken heart

a place which was safe from the world

is now where the bleeding first starts

Forgive me if I feel this way

but when was the last time
you felt love

was it with the words I said

or the last memory of happiness
 when we were underway?

I could find you if I knew where I was

I could find myself if I knew where we fell apart

the traces are far too spread between the pain

to pick up a thread and source the start

And so I stand and wait in vain

with broken pieces and charred remains

of a spirit and a sordid heart,

one that deadbeat with you apart

I love you, and love they say will find a way

together we journeyed down this road

Hopeful of a tomorrow better than yesterday

On a hope 

bleak as the future may seem sometimes

and glorious past may haunt the pride

stop sometime and seize the commotion

what we salvage is not the love but our slide

the love's strong and the emotion stronger still

I loved you yesterday, today,

tomorrow and I always will

the hunt for self is still on, and it’s a journey

that will lead me to the love

that's only mine to lose...

 

Sure

We love from distance

because we're sure,

we love despite resistance

because we couldn't be anything

or anyone anymore

The care is lasting,

our love is a storm

There ain't a nightmare,

we can't take head-on,

we've been reckoned this way...

From the sultry nights

to the dizzying heights

keep me sane from the maddening flight

that is you and I...

We love from our might,

a form or shape peculiar to world's gaze,

smirking at the horizon,

making merry in this haze

You and I have a story to tell,

and we'll tell it right,

swinging back and forth in measured paces,

oblivious to any fright,

we'll get there alright...

What you are to me,

no one will ever know

an infinitesimal energy,

a bundle of hope, a resting place

Oh, death will come to me slow...

all the secrets of this life I now know

Marching fervently in tepid directions,

and reaching out for the impossible life,

spreading thin the sorrows,

wafting out the realities too,

and dreaming till it's daylight

Oh, the nights hang in wait...

curling up in all directions

as you and I are kept at a distance

the wait gets unbearable at times

as reality gets too hard to take 

So you see,

I wait for you on the other side,

at the cusp of the circumference

where light illuminates those virgin grounds,

where rasping voices sing solemn blues,

and memories yield more than teardrops...

flying as we go,

right past the rainbows' hues

playing our own tracks,

as life takes cues... 

Come..


I'm trying to stall,
a break, a fall
a season without your presence
big or small...

A moment without your thought within
a reason without your name
and the mystery that kept me sane

In the moment and in those behind
the meanings are empty and the solitude benign

In my wake and your words
bring me back what I've felt mine

Come, a morning waits

Come, the dawn's a waste

Come, I've missed your breath

On my skin, your taste
the feeling of breathing akin

Of being with you,
being chaste


Come, I'm complete with that thought

For long in my battles
alone I've wrought


Come.. be my savior
,
my saving grace
I'm holding on to be rescued this way

Come take over,
I've lost my way


Come in my hollow dreams,

be the color I've been trying to mean
be the hope that you seem


Come, light my fire
and lull my nights

Swim through my future
and make my present right


Come, don't leave me now
in bitter distaste..


Come, come far away from the maddening gray
beyond reasons that keep us away
beyond treasons of fate
that long to make us prey

beyond seasons that tell us we'll part
beyond a time when I'll be away

Let's move beyond things
let's move beyond time

Come to me in my sanity
and let me dream for life


Come...


Come back before I'm none..

Come back as anyone...

Recluse

I'm confused
about the things
and emotions unused

Do they exist
or am I emoting
over dead feeling
that are obfuscated?

Remnants of dreams
incarcerated

Or unattended altercations
tired of being instigated

But, then again
I'm holding on to
something,
my everything;
you, unabated

It was to go,
what was I to say
and who was I

not to know?

I was to know
but I didn't because
if I did I wouldn't
flow

I wouldn't come
or go, be able to hold
or let you go

Though you wouldn't call
it living and I wouldn't feel

for it to be so

You could term it
a death blow

Dissipation of my reality
was for none to know

I was a dark shadow,
an indigo black that
was soaking up my
left might, there after

My contempt,
the promise of the spring
ring ring, the merry sound of
my badgered self-introspection

Veneering over
visions desolate with
imperfection

There's a mirror
on the wall
I'm crawling towards it

and its cackling

over its fall

Up above there's

also a sky that's gray
replete with feelings
it was never fed...

I'm still confused
who belongs to what

and why is it that

I feel my feeling,

my entity remains unused

I'm a recluse,
ready to use
of no meaning to anyone
living to offer bitter excuse

Accept my excuse
further me to reuse

Offer me refuge
Curse my demure
Drain me of my strain

I'm a recluse
altering the infant
in the world
while the child within me
grows uninitiated...

Steps

Walking down the way
I saw what I felt all day
I felt what I never needed
all my life

I kept asking
why did it become this way?
I was seeking a stranger
and I was feeling
stranger to myself thinking
this way

I kept saying what
I wanted you to be
I kept seeing you with someone
and that was me ...

Steps I took
to keep this dream awake

Steps I took to never
let this isolation shake
For your and mine
and the miscellaneous sake

Words, mumbled prayers
I kept chanting in probation
for some grace
I prayed for disposition
as reverberations brought
back what I was willing to fake

Steps, I took to extend
a hand from within
to a mirror that was not
a smooth surface

Steps, I was to take were
in hope to never retract from a
slippery surface

I was holding onto
the surface
and the grip was fast glooming
my grin
I was looking for an apt
purpose and the more
I thought, the more
it looked grim

I was willing to shake
what others were ready to ignore
I was ready to make
what I never though I could ensure
And yet delusions were sweeping me wild

I would let it go in and out
Oh!, Beauty a thing to flout
Love and I had a will to win
I wasn't losing ground
and she wasn't caving in ..

Steps then, there were enough
to keep distances that I never
thought I wouldn't break

Seasons came and swept in doubts
and convictions I wasn't able to conjure
The more I looked, the less I saw
the more I saw, the less I was ready to stake

I knew in my sleep
and I knew when I did quest
I would never be too sure
To be the learner, I am destined
never a master, a recorder,
so my destiny flows . . .

Exploring all things on the way
broken, battered, scarred
and all others noteworthy,
to plug and play

I can't be shy,
my mother once said
Never think of what people
would think of me
And there, I started dreaming
I would write my destiny

not waiting for fate..
not waiting for serendipity..

While I sleep over it
and appreciate the help, my
dreams extend to let me seek..
I fought for love
I fought for glory

I may not live my altered reality
but I am living by my theory,
those steps that I long fought hard
to make

I walk the line and I keep tracing
where it led and where it was
to let me be ...