Restraint

We both expect

but neither can relent

we both object

but neither can refrain sans the resent

made from our heart's mind

and bound by its make

we pursue our destinations

farther as they gallop in opposing directions

many seasons came and went

ample thoughts to lure the mind's vent

if only logics drove love

no  misery would befall this world

stuck like glue, I am meant to be with you

and you be with your dreams for now

and there someday I will reach

within the confined of our restraint

far as it seems as of now,

decimated as I look up to the sky

and you look down upon our remains

the only journey upward remains

maybe its a crazed belief

my heart's keeper, it is you that I seek

and without you, there really isn't any sight

let alone the differences between day and night

in innocent chambers of heart they dwell

for the feelings we left behind did swell

and compounded into desires bigger than our pain

how long can we live in this restraint?

Going Away

We've a long distance standing in our way

we've come far, but it looks like

we might have to turn away

or turn back I know not yet

I cry, and you spill the tears

helping me realise the worst of my fears

I take it you know pain

we've bled into each others veins

Time heals only the memory of the dead

the living continue to gnaw

and dominate the makings of  life

bit by bit, the changing strides

leading in directions, both ambiguous and known
walking the hard yards in shoes once 

were only yours to be worn
but now seem alien as day

space it out and give it time

seem perfectly plausible approaches

but why do they not know

I wasn't born this way

what makes me special

also makes me bad taste

my makers you know this

and it's been with me before I was chaste

but now I'm unpure,
unattended and obscure

slowly getting lost in my own delusions

stumbling between self-loathing and confusions

this life is good, the only problem is that  I feel

the misery in seeing what others don't

however, is that I live it but it doesn't heal

How do you reason with pain

that you willingly take?

Who do you question? 

What can you salvage...?

Taking a few steps back,

I see my reflection asking me

to change my direction or

end this journey before I become more of myself

unfaithful and unprejudiced is the heart,

knowing all the truth from the start

yet doing everything to keep it at bay

let you fantasize even on the funeral pyre

I wish one could step away from one's own being

live without knowing control or knowing control

away from the purview of a living being

A world free of misunderstandings and hate,

complicated thoughts and rigid distances

How I wish...

मुसाफिर 

चल मुसाफिर 

चला आ यादें समेटे 

इस छोटे से दिल में 

दुनिया समेटे 

सपनों का क्या है 

चल चला चल वादे समेटे 

तेरा यहाँ क्या 

क्या तेरा यहाँ हैं 

मिटटी में मिटते

सारे निशान हैं 

पानी पे बिखरे तेरे लफ्ज़ 

सिमटते कहाँ आशाओं में 

काली से वो रातें जो थी 

उनके पार जाना है 

किस्से हैं कितने 

कितने मक़ाम हैं 

बैठा जहाँ तू 

मंजिल वहां है 

चल राहों पे जिसकी

मंजिल न कोई 

महफ़िल बटोरे

कितने खड़े हैं

कितनो की तुने 

दुनिया है जोड़ी 

दुनिया कितनो की 

तेरे कदम हैं 

मुड मुड के चल तू 

गिरे तो संभल तू 

आँखों को मूंदे

सांसें निगल तू 

चलना है तुझको 

पीछे हैं साए 

आंसुओं से आगे 

कदम जहाँ तेरे ले जाए

Fleeting

Meeting and greeting

often in haste

a bittersweet symphony

for the longing to remain chaste

Of desire, you can speak at will

in denial there is eternity

wanting to stomp every decree

before it becomes an overkill

When I close my eyes
the lights go off

but in  the background
the noise refuses to dim

just like the moments you saved
when you stopped to look

are the ones 
that did you in

life moves fast, so fast at times

I hold myself to steal some time

nestling under the moist look on your face

I turn my back to what we leave behind

there are moments
when I become pure
hide my profanities
and become my very cure

but these moment are rare
rare as your sight
like so many things you are to me
a fleeting glimpse of my might

a rose that neither withers
nor loses its sheen
I run away from reality 
when it begins to drift away from the seams

No, I'm not dying or drifting away
but the epic ending is far from sight
even as these passages
become clearer by the day

a final journey into my being reveals
the very details only you managed to steal
the frosted glances deep in your soul
that I best remember as my living days