Going Away

We've a long distance standing in our way

we've come far, but it looks like

we might have to turn away

or turn back I know not yet

I cry, and you spill the tears

helping me realise the worst of my fears

I take it you know pain

we've bled into each others veins

Time heals only the memory of the dead

the living continue to gnaw

and dominate the makings of  life

bit by bit, the changing strides

leading in directions, both ambiguous and known
walking the hard yards in shoes once 

were only yours to be worn
but now seem alien as day

space it out and give it time

seem perfectly plausible approaches

but why do they not know

I wasn't born this way

what makes me special

also makes me bad taste

my makers you know this

and it's been with me before I was chaste

but now I'm unpure,
unattended and obscure

slowly getting lost in my own delusions

stumbling between self-loathing and confusions

this life is good, the only problem is that  I feel

the misery in seeing what others don't

however, is that I live it but it doesn't heal

How do you reason with pain

that you willingly take?

Who do you question? 

What can you salvage...?

Taking a few steps back,

I see my reflection asking me

to change my direction or

end this journey before I become more of myself

unfaithful and unprejudiced is the heart,

knowing all the truth from the start

yet doing everything to keep it at bay

let you fantasize even on the funeral pyre

I wish one could step away from one's own being

live without knowing control or knowing control

away from the purview of a living being

A world free of misunderstandings and hate,

complicated thoughts and rigid distances

How I wish...

Words 

Let me touch you with my words,

for my hands I will leave this empty glance

let me kiss you with this thought

my lips are numb from the missed chance

let me not kill this sight that lends fire

my soul is still burning

and my heart is all desire

Within you I lose myself,

and without I find myself waiting for a chance

what will I take of you

back with me

with these lifeless hands?

Let me love you as you sit in that chair,

without any movement

strip you bare, with this thought

and the sound of kiss

these thoughts will do the elusive trick

Let my words stroke your hair,

slide down your back,

and tickle your belly

My hands, stubborn as brick,

lie lifelessly,

not willing to carry out
my simplest desires

Let my words enter your mind,

bearing torches,

and lit them willingly into your being,

so they may caress you gently within...

From my lips to your heart,

despite this distance,

there will be a road still...

Without my hands and sight,

flying with my words and in my might

My love will take me there,

Where you wait for me...

Where I wait for completion... of every kind

Distance

I’ve held you here

Up, close, let you become dear

And, you have let me grow

Sowed the seeds of love

Without letting me know

Long and unhindered have been our seasons

Undivided have been my joys

Compounding with each day of your grace

And growing from the longing of the night

Little aberrations of your absence

I’ve lost sleep over

Little moments of distance

Have led me to forsake

Oh, but this new obstacle in our course

Is harder than anything we’d ever had to shake

Your absence douses my lonely heart

Oh, the pain of knowing it from the start

The sacrifices you’ve had to make are many

Like the moments that keep me going

In your longing, I embrace

The feeling of not being far….

The promises you’re yet to keep

The love I’m yet to give or receive

The life that is set to renew

Is all that I’m looking for when I look up...

The last days, the curled up smiles

The simmering moments in the days rushing by

All too dear, with a pinch of salt I keep

As I close my eyes and let dreams sweep...

With the promise I no longer weep

With the hope I sometimes sleep

With the longing; my eyes still know

I’m not far behind, wherever you go

Distance makes those loved fonder

And leaves many verses like this incomplete

For the journeys are us as much as we are them

Like these blank pages waiting to be complete…

Misfit

I take the hint

that I don't belong,

in your ranks

and in your songs

you take your might

with your victory sips

far oblivious to the

hurts and whips

of this discolored world

a missing piece

not missing after all

I rise to friends

and to ignominy I fall

you call me gray

seeing me fall in the fray

but not stopping to weep

I take my tears

and let them run deep

Cold, my off-color melodies,

these meaningless songs

that I sing,

those that were never music

for any scores

for you open my eyes to the truth

an insipid believer, forlorn

turning all the melodies into

a joyous swansong

I'm carried in humility

I'm remembered in haste

I've survived millions

but now I wither away in waste

The blue and green of your eyes

blends with my red

and the world sighs

Intrigued they look,

outwards they go,

longing for questions

the answers not for them to know

In silence I do repent

a born misfit among those embracing trends

smiling gallantly,

riding the chariot of change

hoping to clutch the sands of time

tiding away the beliefs

long held asinine

Memories, you no longer hold

any meanings, withheld or foretold


Quietly the delusions flow
far withdrawn from reality
that you and I live in to know


Up and away the musings go

what am I left with, do you know?

चल दिए

एक दिन आया
खुद को पाया


खुद से जो मिले
सब कुछ आया


सब कुछ जो मिला
कुछ भी न मिला


जब कुछ न मिला
खुद को पाया


खुद से मिलकर
कुछ ख़ुशी हुई


कुछ ख़ुशी मिली
ग़म भी आया


ग़मगीन रहे ख़ुशी रूठ गयी
हँसना भूले रोना आया


रोते रोते रात गयी
सुबह उठे नया दिन आया


नए दिन का नया सुरूर था
फिर क्यूँ कल में जीने का फितूर था


जब सोचा तो समझ न आया
फिर रात ढली सपना आया


सपने जो थे अपने जो थे
गिन गिन कर उनको अपनाया


कुछ छूटे थे कुछ टूटे थे
आँखों में थे पर रूठे थे


कुछ खो कर भी कितना कुछ पाया
तुम जो आये, सब कुछ आया 


मंजिल भी मिली रस्ते भी दिखे
उन रास्तों पर खुद का पाया


दिए चल उस डगर पर, छोड़ पीछे अगर मगर, डर
राहों में हमारी तुम जो थे