Distance

I’ve held you here

Up, close, let you become dear

And, you have let me grow

Sowed the seeds of love

Without letting me know

Long and unhindered have been our seasons

Undivided have been my joys

Compounding with each day of your grace

And growing from the longing of the night

Little aberrations of your absence

I’ve lost sleep over

Little moments of distance

Have led me to forsake

Oh, but this new obstacle in our course

Is harder than anything we’d ever had to shake

Your absence douses my lonely heart

Oh, the pain of knowing it from the start

The sacrifices you’ve had to make are many

Like the moments that keep me going

In your longing, I embrace

The feeling of not being far….

The promises you’re yet to keep

The love I’m yet to give or receive

The life that is set to renew

Is all that I’m looking for when I look up...

The last days, the curled up smiles

The simmering moments in the days rushing by

All too dear, with a pinch of salt I keep

As I close my eyes and let dreams sweep...

With the promise I no longer weep

With the hope I sometimes sleep

With the longing; my eyes still know

I’m not far behind, wherever you go

Distance makes those loved fonder

And leaves many verses like this incomplete

For the journeys are us as much as we are them

Like these blank pages waiting to be complete…

Vendetta

Sitting cosy with closed eyes

rhyming thoughts with alibis

mixing ambitions with free will

planning to journey up the hill

A desire that reeks desperation

a moment for meek admiration

outliving the fear and consternation

the overkill of constant aggravation

The feeling of sanity in true

the hope of starting all new

the joy of feeling no pain

and rising to stake the claim

A momentary lapse of reason

almost betraying the cusp of treason

philandering with weak incisions

made deep into the being of my soul

Not knowing when to say no

or saying anything at all

among blind scores I'm heralded

and in silence it takes toll

Deposit the sum you're here to pay

or inherit the agony and the merits of the sway

run as you may these roads are hollow

no reasons really, we're just born shallow

Fill the stem of logics, do repair

the constant bouts of conscience, too are getting there

and deep in thoughts I push to keep

every quiet moment that weeps

Is growing old the same as growing cold?

I don't think it'll chill the vineyard within

the fruits of my agony would best know

when equated with the years that show

In this part of the country it doesn't often snow

no deserted streets or places you wouldn't know

yet stranger tides rule this town

and cover you with shades black or brown

Changes are here and changes will flow

of the things I keep, I'll make sure I don't let go

and in vain, some with reasons will know

all that I keep is all that I know

When it comes to the core

we're all strangers, unaware, far away from pure

the sun perhaps runs too deep

and yet there ain't no sunshine you can keep

So think not, time will not pay

the heart is in its place and mind is in its race

and with no destination, we're destined to obey

ask no more just walk the day...

Saucerful

To the brim and a little tipped over my shoulder for luck

I drink to our todays...

As the light fades, your glow deepens

and intoxication grows

from my eyes to your heart

the silk route and the thread that's

holding ever tender emotion in place

One emotion, one alone

I'm incomplete and you are my own

In a labyrinth of my own device

I run from shadows in which

my old foe loneliness resides...

Bound by ties that run deeper than blood

our love stands testimony to all life,

mortal and beyond

And though I can find you in a million

without a trace

I know with each storm we weather

there long hundreds to join the race

The wind with each storm comes to break my stride

my galloping faith, growing forevermore

with each and every stride

From rustled leaves to nestled oblivion

to every fallen drop of dew

all are but silhouettes of you,

a mere capillary

and the blood that's you...

Drink to me sometime, your sacred cup of salvation

a victory toast to that never ending elation

the forever sensation - love

that gives life meaning...

I thirst for more, even when you leave me humbled like you do

after and before, come on, I can take some more...

People drink for varied reasons, mine is but one

I wish to see no other, when you leave my sight, my sun

I could tell you this intoxication lasts me the day

but at night I struggle when all that's brushed (aside) comes to play

I long for you again, no there is no reprieve...

Insipid believer, oh, whoever said it is a sane virtue...

You couldn't be estranged, you are the one

you could try leaving, and I would be here waiting you return

If love makes one fearless I wouldn't know
I'm a soldier marching on,  I know not what lies ahead
but I'm living yours like I've always done

The inebriated state of my love is your divinity
my big gain...

People may call those in love fools
Ah, intelligence is such despicable gain
Never trying is never knowing
what you missed is what you remained

Take these tales, they are all I have
I'll drink to them with you

I seek not sobriety, I make no tall claims

it remains to be seen if I last, when sanity is all that remains

If I ever come to my senses, I'll think about what I could do
die in this vanity or continue living in you...

BREAKING DAWN

An open door

with eyes wide shut

a breathing body

with a decrepit soul

sense of a life of semblance

with no human form to embrace or abhor 

For every start the answer is new

the path is unknown

and the reason is you

A sense of fear of not loneliness,

but a dark spell

cast by the envious white light

cursing me with nothing else but insight

Where could this take me, no cure

living inside a mind

I'm trapped and abject

to all around, unsure

And you couldn't come to see

me at dusk

I bared my soul 

to the crowd

and yet you could only be

who you were

who you wanted to be

someone, somewhere

but not a cure for my insanity

In broken ways I wonder why I still ask

for you

for myself

for any insipid ask

Should I just mourn or wait for twilight

if you could see me now

I'd disappear into the background of 'despite'

I couldn't ask you question

how could I

what if you had an answer

for all I would have is an alibi

for standing, waiting

not moving or seeing

anything else left for me from yesterday

except you...

Tonight stands for you and me

for all that we are

and for all that we can never be

OUTLINE

Lying in wait to be found

moving in circles, round and round

asking for wait and waiting too

Oh, I’ve not forgotten what I was to you…

Lovers in meaning and surrogates for fate

blending in healing for welter aftertaste

Quiz me now of a broken bridge

bonds that bend, 

and of the twists in the fate

And I’ll sing you a soothing rhyme

Nothing beyond the story I’ve timed 

and the reality

that today is so blue....

Twisting and turning and longing for churning

A hope put out off late…

a long forgotten wait...

Oh, but I could be the same to you

I could tear the sky and paint your face

And let it hang there for it to dry

Mortal and pure, neither after nor before

I could wait for signs from up above

and ask for a favorable end...

Wondering into, a dream castle anew

and wet sands clustering my view

One who can endure

could come and be me for sure

But I…

Oh, but I could dig a hole

an incomplete aberration of pure

and lie their while the sand wades

through the helter-skelter sun

Waiting to rob me of my sky

I could come if you close your eyes

Wish in me to keep you alive

And that way I’ll be through

Living and dying, vying for you…

IMPULSE

Every step of the way
brings its own shade
and every moment
in silence, I spend,
I spent it on
not knowing rage
with humility
and in disgrace, I laud
the belief that spurs me on
wishing I could turn off the switches
and loosen the hold,
clog the voice
and turn off the lights
long to cast away the yesterday
while praying I could somehow stop
and not let tomorrow
be the same
here are the hidden nemesis of
our hide and seek fame
sometimes, I feel our fates are tied
I grip pain and I see a pair of moisty eyes
Not to forget, every page has its story
holding the narrative is the motion
comic, rythmic or gory.

Impulse and that is all of

us that remains.

Anything but ordinary

I flip through the album
and the faces turn dry
I picture the pages
and the memory urges me to fly

Through the sands of time
I sink in my fingers
to the the moments,
they make me seek
I witness my journey
to this crossroad,
all in a matter
of insipid few unworldly ways

Those moments
let me seek
and those verses make me speak

The thought of a season
and the years run by

The thought of a fear
and tears numb my eyes

The fraction of life
within the sleep
and figments of dreams
in the heart of pity

No estranged relations,
no past tweak,
just a historian in sin city
searching for something for keeps

The very thought
I kept in deep
and the emotions
that make me sleep
together, hold
my abstract thoughts high

The slightest resemblance
to the passing figure
and my entity begins to wry

The slightest mention
of living and my fears
touch the sky

I am thoughtful
and not feigned
and learning to fly ...

Answers to the question I am

Stairs to nowhere
steps to where I stand
single sight towards the destination

Quest: inward
Journeyman, here I am

Out there on your own
sulking to the bone
cursing to disown
my nightmares are your shown

Finding my face
curiosity is making me race
Love's still missing from the face

How are we, this victory,

to embrace?
How even become odds!

Would you care to see
where you stand
or keep running to insanity ?

Again and again
misery goes, pain remains
forgiveness exercised

The hint of the century
Shades of hell
Frozen world outside
breathe for me, empathy
while you dwell...

Hey you!
You may not

be who I want

Or I may not be

who you seek

But together we have a
difference that serves the

purpose that makes us meet

The quest for soul searching

begins with and through

this familiar race

I'm gunning

for the difference

between greatness

and mediocrity

So if everything we do

gets termed as a mistake,

we'll just keep learning

till my restless dream doesn't

succumb to my wordly make ...

Fate

Seeing the stars
in my sleep
I am flowing through the moonlight
while you keep,
my sanity,
my pain

I shake the myth
and emerge less inane
I fumble through
the lies
and stumble deeper
trying to contain

My truth, my life
my dreams,
take two --
leave no spare

Hold me close
infinity..
I'm driving
down your way

Sit and watch me go
silently,
while I try

and hold what I can't
let go,
and frame my dispositions
with reverence
old friend

While the vision is bleak
and the narratives still seek,
the conjecture
is oblivious to maybe's and fright

Mighty might
would you restore ..?
Seek serendipity,
serenity's fast melting core
never waiting

longer than to be sure

The layers of hope
turn a new shape
Turn the slayer
to cope

and turn it well to

retain its stake

Adaptations are those
that'll turn your thoughts
away ..

Look at the black
of the night
and
the color you think
your life will portray

Perspective shifts,
no longer looking for meanings
while looking forward
to another day

While the night
rests on its laurels
and deeds that

did deep within, fair

I dismiss hate,

I submit fate ..

A mouthful of sky

The Aztec blue
of my window pane
and
emerald green of
those mushrooming
bonsai leaves
so many colors
in the wake
of my eye
and
but one to wake
up my dreams

The tangerine essence
of that someone aloof
and
the nonchalance
in the epiphany
that your life
is lingering lullaby
and
we're awake but to sleep

Glancing through
the mirror images
of those
with whom
I shared living ways
I return to the conclusion
nothing that matters
ever stays

Flipping through
the pages I
never realized were
blank designed
Kept searching for meanings
and reasons
when life didn't teach
me where to find

The scrapings on the wall
were fast failing to bind
the shadows on the
ceilings, were never dark
enough to blind
And once wind swept through
murky doors
I knew
we were all headed
to the shore

I looked up
when silver rain fell
from the sky
I drowned myself
in shelter that hid
trickling droplets
from your eye

Words were just
superlative
Words are just
so godforsaken
vacuous, imbecile
and incomplete

When I was looking
for things I could keep
I found my self losing
less sleep
when all I never had
turned out to
be all that
I never would need

Tomorrow may be raining
and the winds may no longer
blow
I may not have
hands to shield me
but I'll know
why its time to go

I leave behind
no tangible legacies
or teary eyed good bye's
I'll not be craving for a farewell
when I'd know
I got it all
whilst alive

What am I left with
when I die...

A handful of land
and
a mouthful of sky ...