Words on Water

You came to me when I was lost

and today I find myself lost in you…

You held my soul when it wasn't wandering

and rested it within your fears

Years of emptiness arrested…

You came and opened all locked doors

including the ones sealing my lips

and heart

You held my nerves and

let me touch your heart

And within it you created us a home

a shelter to last, that was only ours to break

And I learned what it was to lean,

call someone mine and mean it too

What this word ‘love’ could mean...
and what we could become by it

But did I?

You told me actions are love

and I chased you down with words

You said silence is lyrical

and I wrote love songs to make you mine

You said love needs to be healthy

and I gorged on you till the clocks bled dry

You said distance would keep us sane

and together we tasted insanity

You kissed my lips and I bit your tongue

You said love needs to wait, it will find its way

and I proposed to you the same day

You told me the meaning of god

and I raised you the only pedestal I knew

You came to me shy and unhinged your hopes

I caged you in ropes and stitched your smile

You screamed reason with battered hope

I saw logics drugged with delusion

You threatened me in despair

and I saw no reason to stand up and care

You slowly breached the little spell

and I finally begun feeling the tremors as the tears fell

And then one day you packed up and left

with the pieces you could find

and scattered me to the mercy

of a mortal life in a room full of mirrors

Among reflections, I could only deflect for so long

and in your absence, my opium,

I couldn't help but see my life like you did

like I should have lived

like I could have cared

like I needed to give

things I needed to share

dreams I needed to dream

hopes I needed to raise

love as I was meant to see

pain I needed to share

words that couldn't care

actions you couldn't see

hope that ceased to arrive

fear that brought in strife

A hundred days passed us by

your wounds didn't heal

and my anger couldn't show me why

the apologies I piled on you

In the hope you would look right through

my sincerity and regrets

that brought me back to life

My fears and mistakes

were painted on our canvas like fire

and then my attempts to rescue

didn't seem to collate

all the scattered fears

and all my bumbling mistakes

I could have left the world

if I would leave it better

than I had found...

but the very flower adorning my garden

was now rusting to the ground

I said all my prayers and

called on all the gods I knew

only to realise that with the wilting flower

my only god was leaving me too

To the human in me, that decay left a sound

I rose from a deep slumber

and looked past the despair

Painting new leaves, the plant grew

but the flower remained static

like our distance before we knew

I could use all the words I know

and a million times for the forgiveness

for the logics I couldn't show

And tell you how much

I've lost already in your tears

to ask you to come back to me

draped even if in your fears

to promise you this time nothing but respect

to hold your head high in every aspect

to keep you in my heart before sight

to love you through the day and not just night

to reach out to the person in your skin

to hold you near but not close

to use words only when actions would dry

and love you till you till your hopes

begin to, once again, fly...

Distance

I’ve held you here

Up, close, let you become dear

And, you have let me grow

Sowed the seeds of love

Without letting me know

Long and unhindered have been our seasons

Undivided have been my joys

Compounding with each day of your grace

And growing from the longing of the night

Little aberrations of your absence

I’ve lost sleep over

Little moments of distance

Have led me to forsake

Oh, but this new obstacle in our course

Is harder than anything we’d ever had to shake

Your absence douses my lonely heart

Oh, the pain of knowing it from the start

The sacrifices you’ve had to make are many

Like the moments that keep me going

In your longing, I embrace

The feeling of not being far….

The promises you’re yet to keep

The love I’m yet to give or receive

The life that is set to renew

Is all that I’m looking for when I look up...

The last days, the curled up smiles

The simmering moments in the days rushing by

All too dear, with a pinch of salt I keep

As I close my eyes and let dreams sweep...

With the promise I no longer weep

With the hope I sometimes sleep

With the longing; my eyes still know

I’m not far behind, wherever you go

Distance makes those loved fonder

And leaves many verses like this incomplete

For the journeys are us as much as we are them

Like these blank pages waiting to be complete…

Daydream

I was only dreaming…

Lost in confusion and total self-bliss

I've found the relation
between dreams and wishes

A dream is a fantasy lived only while asleep

but wishes have a canvas vast and deep

A dream can bring true
the wish never thought

as mind wanders aimlessly
towards the feelings sought

But a wish is a simple,
momentous undertaking,

a grasp over things
still in the making

Now my understanding
of wishes and dreams

have broadened my scope
or so it would seem

but still I'm confused,
nothing is clear

Because you are a wish,
and yet a dream so near

with the breath of each day,
I wish for your sight

and while I can,
get up each day to put up a fight

Visions of loneliness

turn to dreams in the night

You've become a fantasy
with realistic tones

I long for you
more than time spent alone

Sadly enough my dreams cause confusion

they are, for all their purpose
a meager illusion

And though the dawn of each day
may be cheerful to sight

the suns sets fast to fading light

I fear the darkness

and my receding flight

is leading me to a war

which I’m not ready to fight

For now this war 

is a battle within

a dreadful nightmare

in which love not rationality must win

What should I do? Where must I begin?

Who should I console?

What is my sin?

Should I ask for more
or remain in dear refrain?

For in dreams, with you,
my world is complete

But in life
you’re a martyr to hope so elite…

I've grown to know
you care for me with passion

but I fear the lack of mutuality

might cause the altercation
before the admission

of tender love that grows
ever so slow

If I am to approach you
with some indication

would it strengthen our friendship
or cause detonation?

This is the confusion,
the struggle, the fight,

Until I am sure,
you’ll remain a dream of the night…

चल दिए

एक दिन आया
खुद को पाया


खुद से जो मिले
सब कुछ आया


सब कुछ जो मिला
कुछ भी न मिला


जब कुछ न मिला
खुद को पाया


खुद से मिलकर
कुछ ख़ुशी हुई


कुछ ख़ुशी मिली
ग़म भी आया


ग़मगीन रहे ख़ुशी रूठ गयी
हँसना भूले रोना आया


रोते रोते रात गयी
सुबह उठे नया दिन आया


नए दिन का नया सुरूर था
फिर क्यूँ कल में जीने का फितूर था


जब सोचा तो समझ न आया
फिर रात ढली सपना आया


सपने जो थे अपने जो थे
गिन गिन कर उनको अपनाया


कुछ छूटे थे कुछ टूटे थे
आँखों में थे पर रूठे थे


कुछ खो कर भी कितना कुछ पाया
तुम जो आये, सब कुछ आया 


मंजिल भी मिली रस्ते भी दिखे
उन रास्तों पर खुद का पाया


दिए चल उस डगर पर, छोड़ पीछे अगर मगर, डर
राहों में हमारी तुम जो थे

Perfectly lonely

something somewhere

somewhat amiss

thinking and grieving

I can but ignore

where is the silence

that I've not wanted to endure

in between walls

sounds of hollow shaken beauty

and a myth of

guarded demons shadowing the night

tame the hunger

the desire, the greed

taste the bittersweet

the ride to follow

here comes the sun

here comes the sun

no sun to follow

the darkness too hollow

the mystery is

that there is but none

a want to deep

and a rage to run

far and wild

and up and above

to a placed call home

where I will meet love

and but there the story won't end...

Leave out all the rest

It still hurts,

you’ve changed your name

I’ve lost the game,

and you’re no longer here,

It still hurts,

I’ve cried the tears,

lived the years,

wrinkled in fears

coiled up till today

I move on as I sometimes do,

away from things, away from you

and think of life on a planet new

but why should I?

I can’t follow through

So I sit by the hourglass,

and let time form me a shape,

I watch closely the stars

that still give me light,

I sit right through,

while slumber lulls the night

I read each memory of your name,

and the misfit you said we were to each other’s name,

and it turns out we did move on,

just that I couldn’t outlive that song

I can cry but it hurts just as much

without it too

if I start I still seek you to continue

I watch you from far observing the change,

 turning to the mirror that caged me benign

how could I ever give you

a better sign or proof, of my being aloof…

Light years back I could see this day,

yet looking back, memories of us are fading away

I can ask you for time,

I know you will have some,

I could ask you some more

but how could I ever ask...

Yourself, you..?

I’d only return to a night black,

an image of fantasy rusting in time

reasons and love that just didn’t rhyme

I see a couple, and I think it’s you,

moving on towards what you were meant to,

and I picture my name on that door,

creatively, I could still be your core

and you my accessory…

a sultry design,

oh, I could wear you

till my skin would have the impression

on which my heart resigned

I take it, you never felt this way,

in a world of chaos, how can logics come to play

I keep rowing, but I don’t seek the shore…

I’m just looking to run from the skies

that housed us, the one moment

 I stepped into life’s pure

And since then this exploration

has been all about the will to explore,

the love she said is all about will,

 but my might is wearing thin

Yes, without you, I seem to be wandering thin

not having much to lose

and without having a desire to win…

Though there are desires,

but none that I seek to pursue,

I could ask you to hold me again,

but then it wouldn’t just be me… or you

My solitude takes an admirable shape,

I’m seeking old worlds with a new gaze

but for now, like a miasma,

you seem to grow

and with every heartbeat I can feel that echo...

I gather around my thoughts

and continue to live in peace

and when the darkness becomes too bitter

I close my eyes and pray for release…

Be here now

Places in my head
I travel without time
bringing me home
to where I can still hear your name chyme

Hope in my heart that you're mine
and some new space for myself
to not lose it when I find you
Be here now...

Bring me to me
Bring me to you
And when we get there
we'd see what really is true

Hope insane and hope till you remain
and hope in vain if that's all that you do
till it becomes your nonchalance
And someday it will come true

Ask for reasons that you can't name
and name the ask that keeps our name
Be here now

And in the distance
long lost lonesomeness lasts
of the promises
that are stitched to the hearts

we live to grasp
these lessens inane
and then the sanity
that calls them profane

Be here now
cause together will be better
than me and you

Be here now
for reasons just won't do...

Teardrops on strummed guitar

feeling of fall being far
the autumn healing
subdued this year
illusions, I can't see them really
and so the distances
and the widening distances
that are wholesomely near

I couldn't talk
and I wouldn't dare
might've been apart but best kept near
and I don't mind when you're here
and the stories of the sleepless nights,
the hue bound sky
and the minty wine

I wouldn't dare and I wouldn't share
holding onto everything
I'll take to what, of yours'
I have here
while basking
in what I thought to be mine

you know the songs
that were just made to rhyme
and the coils of thoughts that words
would never know or show

the twisted arm of this crooked clock
has stuck on the moment
it was made to block
the time it took
for the rain to dry
and the wind to gain what the air left up,
above, afloat, high...

the basket of confessions
in this one man truth and dare,
shared philosophies now untold and hidden
wisdom held dear

the art of music is akin to that of life
a seamless symphony attuned to a principle
that's no principle when you can't hold on tight...

Empty spaces

A robust bird in cage
on a journey
towards it lost flight

Once sky's patriot
now on leveled hermitage
bowing into swan song

wanting to be someone else
he begins to swim
in tears of its passing age

waiting to be rekindled
parks its wings
in hope's resting page

Under its old nest
I ponder of the empty spaces
to its freedom, the spaces to its dawn

while looking at shadows

that bring out a color well known

and shades of gloomy hue

The unhappy hour

and its moments, I'd eternalize

The flight, if the bird is dream

is winged with my might

The restraint is to

reach oblivion

The might is

to last infinity

Time, they say moves on

and what doesn't last

would never go on

How then could I search in places

where I've never gone

What do I do to fill

the places

when I know the void

is making me strong...

The wings are not

going to take me places

when I know not

of the prevailing storm

The journey is not

going to carve me places

when empty spaces is all I long.

Close

This is how it goes ...

I believe we keep
on moving on till neither
of us remembers or knows
I sense this is what remains,
what lies ahead
and what lies behind
are tiny and insignificant
considering what remains
is strong enough to bind
matters over together, what we
are trying to find

Crashing and pushing
our way through destiny
and truth untold
I've uncovered in the laps of
agony myself manifold
and hence you ...
I'm closer, than
I've ever been to myself
I'm closer to myself
because I'm closer to you
I still look within
and I realize as I go deep
all the shallow places
are filled and there is so much
more love to reap
I have seen the longing
in your eyes and the wait
that you never did
despise,
one that led that life
back from gray
I've known the tempest

and I've been one too

There is no joy in belonging

though when the reunion

is any less than through

two solemn souls invisible to mortalities

or obligations of the ritualistic world

yet sharing a abode thats true...

This is then how it goes ...

Nobody says and nobody knows

Nobody, but the ones who share ...

Come away with me....

And I've come so far
yet the distance seems
so near ...

Running from what
I cherish most
I ask then
for you to turn dear, again

Come away with me
and we'll color the night
we'll pass the day
and sip dreams in white moonlight

I thought I'd give up dreaming
when you went vacating
my seasons

My convictions though
only became thorough
as I'm returning with
many more reasons

This joy has no rhyme
but the rhythm is divine
I feel I'm losing myself
all over again
even after declaring
I'm asinine ...

I would still urge
for your happiness
if not mine

Poems, prayers, promises
all for love

Come away with me

I'm learning to define
my joys
and scrabble my pain

I'm not reliving past
though I'm recreating the
magic all over again ..

My magic and my wizard
then
come near and become
the defining shine

Come away with me
I don't want to lose what's mine ...