one way emotion

its easy to see 

why love is a strong emotion

easier still when it's about you

something, I can do with all my devotion

Put me behind bars

and tie me with all possible restraints,

and yet I will be freefalling,

whether in our ruins or remains

I have a few reasons to smile,

but none strong enough to stop this flow

now that you're leaving,

this blood is all but snow

wish there was more from where this came,

wish you were sure of me as I am of you ,

wish I could turn back time and ask you

to keep me from falling apart,

before you asked me not to...

but now that everything is said and done,

the few vows rendered obsolete

and veils left forlorn

standing in a quiet corner of my heart

I can perhaps tell this silence

how much I wanted to love you

and maybe you can tell me

you would have liked some of it..

In this quiet absence,

there is but little obvious pain

the insanity is such

that everyone will continue living sane

those mortal will die

and those dead will remain buried

and between the two

i will sit and ponder

of the almost breaths you gave me..

Heaven besides you

Search...

what you refrain

is pouring

through silent eyes

again

I turn to you for

words

wanting to be

understood, without

saying the words

A dream catcher

in the middle of nowhere

an empty vessel
left to rust...

Against one's own forgive

that lasts

no longer

than the feeling

of another

thought

Drifting aimlessly

in the air

trying to reach

the distant skies

Look inside

me for the

meaning of you

If we just lie here

would it increase

the hold,

before we're

a little too old ..

If its grace ..

I know

you're true

What more could I

look forward to?

The words

may not

say too much

but enough has
already been said

and yet
what remains to achieve
is our forevermore

Seek the truth

and

you will then know

that all we need

is everything

we can't let go...

Heaven besides you

come lets flow...

Daydream

I was only dreaming…

Lost in confusion and total self-bliss

I've found the relation
between dreams and wishes

A dream is a fantasy lived only while asleep

but wishes have a canvas vast and deep

A dream can bring true
the wish never thought

as mind wanders aimlessly
towards the feelings sought

But a wish is a simple,
momentous undertaking,

a grasp over things
still in the making

Now my understanding
of wishes and dreams

have broadened my scope
or so it would seem

but still I'm confused,
nothing is clear

Because you are a wish,
and yet a dream so near

with the breath of each day,
I wish for your sight

and while I can,
get up each day to put up a fight

Visions of loneliness

turn to dreams in the night

You've become a fantasy
with realistic tones

I long for you
more than time spent alone

Sadly enough my dreams cause confusion

they are, for all their purpose
a meager illusion

And though the dawn of each day
may be cheerful to sight

the suns sets fast to fading light

I fear the darkness

and my receding flight

is leading me to a war

which I’m not ready to fight

For now this war 

is a battle within

a dreadful nightmare

in which love not rationality must win

What should I do? Where must I begin?

Who should I console?

What is my sin?

Should I ask for more
or remain in dear refrain?

For in dreams, with you,
my world is complete

But in life
you’re a martyr to hope so elite…

I've grown to know
you care for me with passion

but I fear the lack of mutuality

might cause the altercation
before the admission

of tender love that grows
ever so slow

If I am to approach you
with some indication

would it strengthen our friendship
or cause detonation?

This is the confusion,
the struggle, the fight,

Until I am sure,
you’ll remain a dream of the night…

शून्य 

एक अधूरी सी कविता

एक टूटा विचार

शब्दों की कैफियत 

एक बदलता संसार

एक खोया समय
एक बिछड़ी घडी
ज़िन्दगी की कसौटी
पे वक़्त के बदलते आसार


कुछ गूंजती आवाजें
खामोशियाँ कुछ
कुछ बहते से आकर


खोयी हुई परछाई 
मैली एक दीवार 
धुन्दला सा सबका प्यार
   
क्यूँ कुछ सुनना है
किस से छुपाया है
और किस तक पहुँचाना है


जो गुप्त है उसपे निशाना है
और जो ज़ाहिर... खैर पुराना है


मेरे तेरे में क्या पराया है?
जो नहीं खोया क्या उसे गवाया है?


ख्यालों से लड़ते तुम पर बिगड़ते 
दुनिया में बढ़ते 
ऐसे क़दमों पर कहाँ था संसार


आँसुओं की भी अपनी रफ़्तार है
जो बहते हैं धुल जाते हैं
नहीं धुलता तोह ये खुरदरा संसार 

खुद से खुद को न कर पाए अलग
तुम से खुद को लेकिन कर दिया जुदा


और अब खुद से कुछ खुद ही अनजाने हैं
पहचाने कुछ चेहरे हैं पर लगते बेगाने हैं 

हकीकत में पड़ती गिरती संभालती  
कुछ पन्नों में ढलती 
एक कविता क्या बनेगी इस जीवन का सार


शून्य से बने हम
शून्य से बना संसार


शून्य बन ढले हम
शून्य जब बना आकार

Silhouette

To keep you away from thoughts
Some more memories
from the leaky cauldron
I dived and brought
While you gaze intently
into the blue skies far off

I wish I could tell what vision you seek

You tried as much to break the lull
As the war within
kept casting the inscrutable spell
And embedded
further, a flourish into the mortal cage

If only you could scream, when the calm rapture
became a rage
that feeling of coming of age..
The sanctity of progression
interspersed with

And yet I keep dismissing
these thoughts
I know not well enough, where they lead
for every moment of might, I fought with them
till the sacrament of confirmation become my saving grace

There is a call we all await
thats blurs each adversity divine
With a melancholy guile
there comes the smile
One we don't fake with
anonymity procures,
life surges through hopeful eyes
And yet the disarmament of affinity
turns out and out to outcast them all

Brim, bubbling grace and the hold of untold
The Peruvian influence null the two-fold
With a merriment wish to turn insane
Where did it all lead?
Who did say it'd mean the same?

I thought I'd clasp and pull you out
Your thoughts held me
and brought me to the helm again
In too deep and
far from tell
there remained little doubt
where silence fell ..

With virtues of animosity
silent velocity went bleak
As you dismissed
all that you heard
never again did it creep ..

The thrill of disaster and
delicate sound of thunder
and sound of rupture
coming from as far as within once away..
Joy of going down for the search of earth
beneath the feet
to lift the sky further up high

Bring bottled belief benevolent beau
bring bluff withering blow
I'll take it slow
follow the painted shadows
wherever they may go..

Adjuger


On me fait souffrir près
déplacement
que je trouve chez moi aujourd'hui

Je prolonge des condoléances
au tout ceux
qui est mort avec moi sur le chemin

J'ai décidé
et j'ai couru l'aveugle observée
Je suis tombé et
elle a saigné
Hélas, ma vitesse
elle ne pourrait pas s'abaisser

J'ai couru pour la couverture
avant
le monde
a pu railler à ma consternation
J'ai couvert
mes blessures loin trop bien
car je deviens qui j'ai craint
les la plupart à contraindre.

Mon choix à être
Je ne me suis jamais exercé
Je deviens quelqu'un
qui avant d'autres
Je choisis de dédaigner

Effrayé du mal, naissant pour gagner
pour les raisons neutres
aliéné courant.

Je ne sens pas plus
quel sens d'appartenir
a pu apporter
pourtant je peux fermement dire
ce qui se produira s'il
ne disparaît pas toute manière


La recherche
pour la certitude
bloque la recherche de la signification…
Et parmi le gris
nuages encore
Je recherche où le bleu
tordre ?
J'adjuge
avis et
ne voudrait pas le voir tout

Crossroads


Places and things and
emptiness apart
what's shared is sacred and
embedded in the heart
what hurts is why then
they say its falling apart ..

The silence has become a morbid lull
the wind has fast captured my leap
The journey that was over, before it began
has abrupted, lulling my sleep

Out of our comfort zone
and in the blue thats fast turned grey
I sit here noticing changes
and moments is all I live
all I live in, night or day

Fast was its reach
and slow was the hold
why then, the question
Whose grasp was a virtue of a less solemn hold ?

Nothingness is my absolute gain
that I savor for long and in full
I wait for a consequence with elan
knowing well, destiny's reaping me nil

The distance is not my worry
The progression never my hurry
The emotion I am trying hard to refrain

In the solitary confines of my being
I perch sordidly,
as merged with my entity
is now your name

I've seen the heaven,
the blackout of today then
is mortality
I'm abstaining to reclaim,
learning to tame ..

Our entity remains
and
the wait
into another beautiful journey ..

Someday the sore eyes will dream again ..

You and Me ..

Life was given
to you and me alike
We did live it
before
we could unite

And that then
things were to turn
Oh ! so bright


What is the reason then she asks
What brought us to sight ?
The need to unite ..

A reason ..
one that brought my thoughts alive
A reason for every color
for
every laughter and pain
Yet The most sacred emotion of all
to the facet or a rationale
inane ..

The days are moving fast
and its your thoughts that're
keeping me sane
The nights are lingering
with echoes
and I all hear .. is of
all that wasn't to remain ..

Thoughts that I think
You'd think too
The ones that keep me in check
and the ones that may never be true ..

And In your disclaimers
would you let this ensue

'Love doesn't need a reason...he says..
touches my lives in so many ways
I wonder what life would be
without his hand to hold...!
What is it...
that i don't want to let go..
When stars seem reachable
the false guards have given up
Vainly they tried,
to hold back
Vainly I try
to think,
when life has rolled out the red carpet!!!
Should I merrily glide..?
The fears consume me.
What is that I fear....
When the courage itself holds me!
A canvas laid out.. if only I would paint..........!'


Days, since have passed
and that seemingly dead
has been brought to life and well bred
and that blooming
is fast asleep

Worries have given way to time
and time has brought new worries
for if the old ones choose to dissipate

Looking for the best, the better must give way
The sight than chooses
if a trick or treat is an overture
If what was .. is and has shaped in this today

Togetherness is lost
while self is derived to portray
Another canvas to lay out now
The blank sheet of paper is now hay

Burning thoughtless visions
are best put the order of the day
the beginning of an end
must too be salvaged
Like lot there is left still to say ..

Yet what remains or stays
would only be for You and me to weigh
The great middle road,
The extremist take

A bridge of both worlds .. You and me, in everyway ..

Treasure Box

As a child I had an ardent yearning ..
A box full of happiness,
One that could outlast the oblivion . . .


Every occasion a granted wish,
Every thought, an affirmity to accomplish..
The biggest of dreams, nurtured in those eyes ..


All my yesterdays .. that were tomorrow's to be ..
Everything, just flashing in a moment of reality
Some sublime, some mellow

Yet all of them inspiring me to dream ..
Come, look with me inside this drawer
In this box, that I've often seen

Pictures, black and white ..
Faces, emotions .. timeless yet serene ..

I wish I could recollect, their names ..
the strangers in my box,
they smile at me still . .

I wonder what their lives were like ..
and what they were to me ..

How did they spend their days?
What about their special times?
And if I'll never know their ways ..

Memories are heartbeats
that resound through the years
Echoes of never fading voices
Of our smiles and our tears ...

Moments that are captured
Sometimes unaware ..

Pictured in an album,
Of a shy sunset ..
Or a lock of hair ..

Images that linger
Deep within the mind . .

Trespassing through unbolted doors ..
The feelings locked up,Undefined . .

Bit of verse we cherished
Once upon a time..
The granny's lap, my storehouse of dreams,
The open window .. ere slumber's chain intertwined

My spirit flew in feathers then,
Through the musty hallways . .

Of the days we knew
Ever comes the vision
Thats so beautiful and true ..

The lost memories of those hanging Christmas socks ..
The crumpled .. sketched pages from the books ..
The toys that I clutched & wouldn't ever let go ..


If someone would take time to ..
transcend with me to this blind hue ..

And to tell of each of them ..
the Who,What,Where .. When ?
The faces of my heritage, then would come to life ..
'they' would come to life again ..

My arms reach out through time & space ..
Holding each memory dear to its place ..

And as the autumn gives way to the winter
which would give way to the Spring ..

In this way the present disappears ..
The years I can no longer bring ..

The life that's filled in all these years
Will solemnly echo ..

That's hidden deep within emerges
Yet time never changes ..
Nor has what I locked in my box ..

Its still opens to me .. a life
and opens me from within ..

Could this become the fate
Of the pictures I take today?
Can my tomorrow's bring back my yesterdays ?
Are those faces and the memories
Someday going to be tossed away ?


Its the treasures of the heart that still bring me most delight ..

The years that went by ...

The first day I perched here,
to this one,when I depart from here
Never can I ever forget,
the transformation,the geometric progression

Praying today,
hoping to be back to see my school someday
Carrying memories I may go away,
but my years of learning remain ..

Remembering the bygone days,
my every breath in this place
What can I say ... no words can possibly describe,
the love, the adulation .. I feel today

I owe it to you .. for making me seek .. for the sky

For I was in search of . . a hiding place
My every success to you .. I attribute
But then it isn’t still an apt tribute ..

I also thank my kith and kin,
my friends you’ve been so dear
With you by my side
we countered every fear

The world is round and we’ll meet again ..
As today we spread to locate our dreams

I carry hopes and aspirations,
With love and commemorations
I wish to return with reasons for celebrations
For I truly realize my potential now ..

At last I would like to ask,
for forgiveness on all our part
‘Cause now,it’s the only solace to our heart .. '

We can I say but we didn’t do it with all our heart ..

The fear , the tears ..
An ensemble of integrity interwoven in all these years ..
The fights, the mights .. and each of those sleepless nights ..
The sleepy winter mornings and the sweaty autumn noon


And with this I determine, come rain or sunshine
I’ll break on through to the other side

Thank you for loving us ..
“You’ll be in our heart from this day on, now and forever more”
Goodbye for now .. Until we meet again !!


An old poem,read out on the farewell day, posted especially for my school friends ...