Inseparable

There are one dreams too many

as I close my eyes

your breath still heavy on my skin

as I turn off the lights

You absence, my sordid fear

the darkness, too much to take

the missing link in my being

is your want for which my heart aches

The haunting melodies

of your symphonies

that strain my ears,

you are close deep within, treasured,

but lingering away

from my eyes

I long for answers

as I prepare for abandon

there are none, however, that I will take

even as reasons weaken might

I will ask only that

which I can’t forsake

The road you and I are on

blends at the seams

yet the journey is long

and the burden

seemingly more than I can take

Bit by bit it’s grazing me to the bone

I know its progress

but the forthcoming distance

is a pain I've not known

I admit it’s an apt yearning

progression fueling the long-withheld desire

the insatiable want versus

the logical need

And yet there are casualties

Oh, the hearts on fire

the killing wait, an abject test

of wanting someone even more

Did I tell you you’re all my reasons

and alibis?

Within you my being resides

Within you is my resting place

If only you could be the reliever

of all my desires…

Daydream

I was only dreaming…

Lost in confusion and total self-bliss

I've found the relation
between dreams and wishes

A dream is a fantasy lived only while asleep

but wishes have a canvas vast and deep

A dream can bring true
the wish never thought

as mind wanders aimlessly
towards the feelings sought

But a wish is a simple,
momentous undertaking,

a grasp over things
still in the making

Now my understanding
of wishes and dreams

have broadened my scope
or so it would seem

but still I'm confused,
nothing is clear

Because you are a wish,
and yet a dream so near

with the breath of each day,
I wish for your sight

and while I can,
get up each day to put up a fight

Visions of loneliness

turn to dreams in the night

You've become a fantasy
with realistic tones

I long for you
more than time spent alone

Sadly enough my dreams cause confusion

they are, for all their purpose
a meager illusion

And though the dawn of each day
may be cheerful to sight

the suns sets fast to fading light

I fear the darkness

and my receding flight

is leading me to a war

which I’m not ready to fight

For now this war 

is a battle within

a dreadful nightmare

in which love not rationality must win

What should I do? Where must I begin?

Who should I console?

What is my sin?

Should I ask for more
or remain in dear refrain?

For in dreams, with you,
my world is complete

But in life
you’re a martyr to hope so elite…

I've grown to know
you care for me with passion

but I fear the lack of mutuality

might cause the altercation
before the admission

of tender love that grows
ever so slow

If I am to approach you
with some indication

would it strengthen our friendship
or cause detonation?

This is the confusion,
the struggle, the fight,

Until I am sure,
you’ll remain a dream of the night…

Sleep

silently keep
near and close
midnight thoughts, my darkened azure

misty wonders
from the quilted sky
tonight aimlessly falling
from the corner of my eye

lost and lonely like you and I
frost and raw like the brittle core
floating insipid in circles
with no temptation to cure 

Down and under
the woven shore
tiding with the black
old memories lure

give me no light
of that I'm sure
take my sight
make me see no more

just let me see you unhindered
as you become much more
just let me sleep tender
as I wistfully gaze my shore

the twinkling guests in attendance
are eager to take the ride
all of them longing, like me
in the wait of the hidden sight
 
the moaning moon, far removed
lets out a whimper now and then
in the sordid shadows
I see fleeting glimpses of home

of lost passages traveled in time
that once radiated benign
lost for colors and fallen out of time
the melodies and lullabies are
soothing no more

In nature's lap I surrender
my love for concrete has gone obscure
  

Misfit

I take the hint

that I don't belong,

in your ranks

and in your songs

you take your might

with your victory sips

far oblivious to the

hurts and whips

of this discolored world

a missing piece

not missing after all

I rise to friends

and to ignominy I fall

you call me gray

seeing me fall in the fray

but not stopping to weep

I take my tears

and let them run deep

Cold, my off-color melodies,

these meaningless songs

that I sing,

those that were never music

for any scores

for you open my eyes to the truth

an insipid believer, forlorn

turning all the melodies into

a joyous swansong

I'm carried in humility

I'm remembered in haste

I've survived millions

but now I wither away in waste

The blue and green of your eyes

blends with my red

and the world sighs

Intrigued they look,

outwards they go,

longing for questions

the answers not for them to know

In silence I do repent

a born misfit among those embracing trends

smiling gallantly,

riding the chariot of change

hoping to clutch the sands of time

tiding away the beliefs

long held asinine

Memories, you no longer hold

any meanings, withheld or foretold


Quietly the delusions flow
far withdrawn from reality
that you and I live in to know


Up and away the musings go

what am I left with, do you know?

Heat

In my head
there burns a thread
that was left like a shred
far removed, unbred


thoughts, like me, now lie low
deeper and deeper
the blood gushes
but where does it go?


asked to keep quiet
I stand up and fight
lose my faith and gain no respite


the mute is defeated
and the mighty grins
far from sight...


I fail to inspire, I set myself on fire
the embers glow bleak
I turn cold and weep


that within is hurt,
the one outside is curt
flowing from every direction is dirt
and I sit and gather...


I cannot get any sleep
tossing and turning I grip myself in need
where do you keep silence?


all that I see is all that I know
I didn't ask what you didn't show
why then am I impudent and inane?


burning in fear, short on tears
and yet hopelessly pitching for sane
I find no takers, where are my makers?
Busy perhaps hatching the mundane...


Divided in fears, we've hurried the years
and journeys and days,
the memories are really the only rays
I bask in...


And neither death nor old age
their is nothing colder than maddening rage
and I know you think I'm of age
but inside I'm all red too


But really, I'm still fire
I can reach where I aspire
even if it means burning
the very castle I admire...


driven by hunger and desire
burning in the heat
of my very own fire...

Only the ocean and me

I'm just soaking the sun

the last tide did me in

I'm just rolling in wait,

there still some part of you floating in me

the wind may not speak

but like me it longs as it seeks

the breeze doesn't float you away

the remnants of the sand

are in my eyes and in your hands...

the salt just makes it sour

when I inhale the memory today

the silence doesn't seem to cure

the latent answers no longer seem pure

Is my cure out there drifting away?

You don't want, you don't wait

you don't love and you don't hate

and I don't care except that I can't

accept my fate and float on...

Flying in shade, you pour some sun over me

even as I keep sinking under the weight

Drifting from sanity and right through you

  

I write my tales on the sand,

the tender tide shields my hand,

slipping away with water my tears go,

taking away the only memories I used to know

When the stars come out

I'll finally be free

When you call my name

I'll wake up to my destiny...

सर्दी

इस सर्द से मौसम की

अपनी एक मजबूरी है

कुछ जमे से पन्ने में

एक आवाज़ अधूरी है

एक गीत सुहाना था

कहते थे सुनाना था

भूले बिसरे लब्जों में

एक अर्थ अनजाना था

एक शीत की लहर सी

उसमें कुछ हवाएं थी

कुछ राज़ जो गहरे थे

लब पर फिर आये हैं

बिखरे कुछ जो कल थे

वोह आज भी कोरे हैं

अपने जो दो पल थे

यादों में समायें हैं

एक अजीब सी जकड़न है

खुद में जो अड़चन है

सोच पर लेकिन रोक कहाँ

थमी तो बस ये धड़कन है

एक याद पुरानी सी

जान के भी अनजानी सी

कुछ अंगड़ाई लेते पलों को साथ

दे गयी एक कम्पन का एहसास


जगती सी कुछ रातों में
अनकही सी कुछ बातों में
मौसम की इन सौगातों में
तुम ही सी तो ये रस्ते आबाद हैं


अड़े कुछ पलों में
हम खड़े कुछ कलों में
समेटे वो याद जिनमे खो कर
आज भी कुछ यादें हकीकत बन जाती हैं  

कुछ कोरी सी दीवारों पर कल के निशान हैं

जो छुप गयी वो तसवीरें तो नहीं

बचे तो बस कुछ खालीपन के निशान हैं

तुम्हारी बात मान हम अब जल्दी सो जाते हैं

रातों से बाते क्या करें, तारों से छुपते क्या फिरे

बस खुद को खुद से ढूंढ लाते हैं

ज्यादा वक़्त तो नहीं है

बस जम गए कुछ कदम हैं

कुछ चार कदम पर तुम हो

कुछ कल में डूबे हम हैं

कभी फुर्सत में शायद तुम होके आबाद
करोगे उन लम्हों को याद
जिसमे जुड़े थे हम तुम मजबूरी से


सर्दी के मौसम मैं
नमी आँखों में लिए कुछ दूरी से...

चल दिए

एक दिन आया
खुद को पाया


खुद से जो मिले
सब कुछ आया


सब कुछ जो मिला
कुछ भी न मिला


जब कुछ न मिला
खुद को पाया


खुद से मिलकर
कुछ ख़ुशी हुई


कुछ ख़ुशी मिली
ग़म भी आया


ग़मगीन रहे ख़ुशी रूठ गयी
हँसना भूले रोना आया


रोते रोते रात गयी
सुबह उठे नया दिन आया


नए दिन का नया सुरूर था
फिर क्यूँ कल में जीने का फितूर था


जब सोचा तो समझ न आया
फिर रात ढली सपना आया


सपने जो थे अपने जो थे
गिन गिन कर उनको अपनाया


कुछ छूटे थे कुछ टूटे थे
आँखों में थे पर रूठे थे


कुछ खो कर भी कितना कुछ पाया
तुम जो आये, सब कुछ आया 


मंजिल भी मिली रस्ते भी दिखे
उन रास्तों पर खुद का पाया


दिए चल उस डगर पर, छोड़ पीछे अगर मगर, डर
राहों में हमारी तुम जो थे