Two weeks notice

A week its been to a new shore

I've left behind now

what I long claimed as

mine to procure, one

that is now mine to retain or abhor

Long it took to sever at last,

the extended stay in the premise

of an unstinting mind,

just not ready to bury the past behind

Just as fear was seeping in,

long did it rust away from my sight

a seething challenge to my might

I could but relish it now,

though it seems already

like a new task

The new voyage has stormy seas,

and the radar is sorting itself in line

to where my dreams

with my will shall align

Progression and motion,

and the entire commotion,

and all of it does sometime get limiting

to the core

Tossing and turning,

and twisting and swerving

inside I'm ambivalent to the core

Not sleeping or working,

a state of inertia,

but not one I've felt before

To the emotional mind,

to all the threads that logic

can't bind, I can't hide

that I'll miss dearly what I leave behind

So I take what I can

and move away before

I doubt my decision,

so long an exile

away from precision

My biggest test was greater than my ask

I longed within and I long without

But I cast myself away from doubts

What else remains for me to say...

What do I retain? What is my to remain?

I sail to another sea,

on another journey, to a new shore

Longing and lusting to be with myself

more than anyone, once more...

So I take few pictures, in silence,

and complete some remaining hymns,

I evade those who I know most

or the fear of change will do me in...

Goodbye, and may joy be with you all

this parting glass, let us not fill with tears

I owe it my heart to you...

I owe it from the start to you...

The songs in this pages are a silent hymm...

 

And...


Many silent hisses to one night

coils of smoke and pitch black sight

Adrift thoughts some,

some buried alive...

some living insipidly in dreams,

dreams that see no light

perhaps too much of fad,

a darker shade of black

impervious to  white...



Bring me tonight your darkest demure

for I will still long for more

hiding from images etched on the sand,

that leapt with the waves and melted away

leaping back and forth, and around

twisting and turning, and tossed to ground

and subliming entityless, no where to be found


Time can take us places evermore

before and after and after it was no more

And bring back moments,

That were feelings at the time

melting-freezing thoughts in an old world rhyme



To azure, the blue backlight of the sky

Under whose light we wept and kept our summit high

being ourselves as you and I


Our bond runs deeper than any hole in the ground

our tears dipped steeper with every passing round,

of an abject remains that destiny logics,

of the never found remains that memory defines...


I remain true in keeping you pure,

with or without us,

there was always a way

that you never did ignore


Casting away to a neverland inside,

last song of hope breathing of insight...


Why the massive gray on the horizon seems new folklore...?

There's no color so complete than this one

spread on the canvas... I assure


We keep bidding for spring,

but summer is what makes us pure...


painful but forever a push towards brighter light...

A life away from the fiction but only in a twilight


clutching at straws with no hope or respite

And every black spot now haunts the might,

the night will still go as follows,

it's the day that will burn the core

and of all that there'll be nothing to seek,

soon....

they'll be nothing to take back, when it will all be bland

I could go about another day in another way,

but it won't be won't be me and ...

मगर...

चलते चलते तय किये कितने सफर

यादों में बीते रस्ते अगर

बहती हवाओं के संग मैं भी बहक कर

भूल गया जाना था किस डगर

ख्वाबों ख्यालों में खोजते कई मंज़र

आसमान को तकते

रातें कितनी कर दी सिफर

बादलों की गहराइयाँ मापी कभी,

कभी पानी में बहा दी अपने ख्वाबों की दास्ताँ

रुकते-रुकते चले कभी और कभी

चलते चलते भी रुके कदम 

एक ख्वाब की  ख़ामोशी थी

एक था अँधेरे का गुमान 

कुछ अनकहे वादों में भी था अभी 

अपना सवालों  का मंज़र 

कुछ रात तक हमें लाये थे

कुछ अपने ही पराये थे 

कुछ वक़्त यूँ भी था अजीब 

की अजनबी अपने ही हमसाये थे 

कर के उन वादों की शिनाख्त

हम नए कुछ अरमान भी लाये थे

अगर थी तो बस एक वो कमी 

जिसके होने पे हम खोने से घबराये थे 

मगर...

मगर वो तो है एक माया अजीब

जिसके कश हमने बहुत घुमाये थे

जो हमसे हैं दूर आज

वोह क्या कभी हमसे मिल पाए थे?

A friend of mine who wants to get married...


All of 26, and she is harried
Running against time, she’s never sounded sure

The freedom of singledom is losing its bind
For she is ready to take the plunge,

And I’m not the one who can change her mind…


She called me the other day
To tell me I should think about it too
Passively shrugging her away I told her
‘No, thank you!’
‘Don’t you like what I am to you?’

Marriage is an institution barred to my mind
Two happy people just living through time…
Sounds perfect but can you be sure,
What you live for today will be yours tomorrow to adore?

And we both fight on the thought all the time
Who’s better off we’ll see in time…

So anyway, we’re all looking for this one gem, her find

Eligible candidates may apply fast
You never know who she seeks until she finds

A choice that’s her alone, before she gives up search
A man who’s man enough to let her mature

Calm her cravings and soothe her but not bore
Bring it on, a shining armor, a white knight
Built in decision-making ability,
And good driving, dining and social skills

Just to be sure

One who wakes up early and hates to fight,
who laugh on a joke, and think beyond hindsight
And fill up her sight, orchestrate her fancy
And yet no lose on his might

Humbly she tells me, it is hard to be secure
When you are born to be a cynosure
And so she has taken her time,
Forgiving herself for all the lapses in time

To stand up once more,
And chart her demure spell
Once and only once more…
She’s happy, healthy and successful but alone

Not one to admit it, she’s stoically guarding her throne
While latently wishing to be led in some ways too…
Not one to dream in daylight, sometimes she casts true shadows
That hides her allure, between waiting and wanting

She’s not given up her lure…

But as her accomplice I could tell you now
She gazes not below the sky
And all those in between,

The mere thought of them makes her awry
She’s praying hard to end her struggle this year

And double in joy what sometimes lingers in her as fear
Not one to mend her workaholic ways

She’ll go about all the rest
Never for a moment putting anything but faith to test

She’s taken her time to make up her mind…
So now we’ll help her find…

Do spread the word, we’re on a deadline
It’s never too late to start what you’re hoping to find…

Trouble

Trouble

Someone said it could end in pain,

someone said there'd be nothing to gain

Why go through all the displeasure and disdain,

let's just... remain

And everything and everyone would still be insane

and you must take it by playing inane

There are no takers for rebels in this game

If you can't fake it, you won't make it

and even if you do, not for long enough for it to remain

Let it in and make peace with the pain

Someone said it would wither in time

lose its shimmer and become ordinary like yesterday

And time would help it pass away

pass the pain, by passing yourself through time

Through time and pain you'll grow to be someone

someone who'd be tanned well

under temperatures of animosity and disdain

and when the shade comes

you'll know your huddle

and that the distance between the two should remain

Someone said you must try, try not to lose what you are

remembering what you will be if you don't

and if you'd like that if you do...

Ah, setbacks we face them everyday

each and every step of the way,

and when you don't, you know you do doubt

the worth of what you're doing

For it to not come troubling anyway...

where are we going on this freeway?

In choices not chances

reigns our biggest treasure

What is this battle of fighting for pleasure?

They say,

for everything we lose something will remain

but what would be lose if all of it 

would forever stay same

and why treasure what will not rot in time

Taking out meanings in this poetry,

one that would rhyme without lost lines

Trouble is it's hard to find

a pit of hope in the abyss of time

With everyone waiting, who's holding the line?

Deep, entrenched in the middle of the fear

is doubt of losing without trying...

Trouble

Up in the air

down in the sea,
careless and free,
humming your symphony..

wobbling in the sky
break-free to try
and yet scattered within me

flattened to the ground,

oblivious to any sound

swirling round and round

and waiting in the

holding up in shade

wiring up in maze

circling in haze,
puzzled to hide or chase,
living upto a gaze

city of dreams and dreams unto me
joy of hope
and the ruin of destiny

kill me but give me hope that
what I see will be
and I will be me
and you..
you'll belong to me

midst of the day,

amidst all of the things keeping away
make two reasons that will make you play

come fly away

and drown in the spires
that you built one day
and in the depths
you'll find the threads that char
were burning from afar

blue in the sky,
that's black to the sight
turn back away
while not demented my might
and one day, you'll see colors new
somewhere within, all of you...

Chiaroscuro

I'm holding the shades until darkness falls
the light outside is too bright to let reality stroll
Too tender still to dream

I'd take it you don't feel that way,
but then again we can never ignore
what we just couldn't say...

Bring it out, the reasons for despair,
will you take me if you aren't there?
How'll you hold if you lose your might
and why the echo of despites...?

Strange hold, this mutiny of despondency allures
the caricature of reassurance fading fast,
who's the winner in the race to submerge in ruck?

Denial denial, who's won the trial,
and how've kept emotions at bay?
Throbbing more and more to decimate the demons,
but no angels out to play

Cut to the chase, where is our resting place?
Why is it seeming
like I'm losing the blot that was just my space?

What happens if we don't live today,
tomorrow will will bear the same blue
Hollow insanity in a circus-town
waiting for a joke that draws a smile
on the nip/tuck faces that no longer emote

The faded brightness will merge with darkness one day
the differences blended logics ended,
will we in our own destiny have no say...

tethered to dry in this balming summer
reflecting shades of the bygone
holding to shapes, holding to dawn...

and similarities challenged true
from where I started to what I've become
I've landed myself a different hue,
a different me, a different you...

Dark

Blend me in where there's a heart
I want to feel an emotion,
devoid of the cold,
living in two-fold

Are you proud of this make believe?
Hanging in purpose to be a need...
Flesh on my skin is beginning to wry,
Hold me in till the bleeding is dry

Sink into the silence and you'll hear
the voices that no longer speak
were the ones that brought out tears

Soothing even in the despair of those cries
there was a hope intermittent in those eyes
making me see the truth in all of the lies...
letting me run free without alibis

What do you believe in?
Where do you take flyby's
you can rake in the moolah,
but you can rattle in lullaby's

run now, run to the darker shades
take what you can get,
and we'll make it to our dawn

who can say that's not to belong...