Anguish of the unspoken word…

I have lived for very long inside his head,

waiting to be uttered,

like lyrics from a broken song

Today, my dreams have been shattered.

for now, I know

that I will never

see, the light of the day,

enjoy the joy of being alive, ever

will not enjoy the sun in May

The birds though still would carry on

the leaves will fall and the sun will dawn

She had this chance to give me life

even as I lived before we knew ...

And almost.. She gave it but her all.

but If only, this life could renew

to let go of me and let me live in some

one,

never embarked in her embrace

My entity, somewhere was

her own extension, that hid under the cloak of disgrace

To give hope and respite from strife,

that cannot be for such is the harm done

There is no life for me if her wishes die.

no reprise, not an absolution

not one that any death can buy 

She might utter me still

but what of an entity that now remains

A name that’s familiar yet unacceptably ignorable

and here it ends

much deeper than it soothed, when it began

It will not be the same, at best a lie

I will be hollow, devoid of meaning and will

Pronounced, obliterated and finally overwritten

being uttered for there is nothing else to be said

being accepted because there is nothing better to do

I wish I was never born,

Never wanted to be spoken about

But, I was born

born out of hope

An ensemble woven out of perplexities

shadows and I circumvent in the dark

an unhinged rein of this glory,

that’s offsets the humiliation

A plethora of emotions that

best not spoken, portray

How...

we couldn't hold

what we ourselves made...

Hope is what keeps me from being broken.

as silence speaks of forthcoming light

For not everything that matters remains…

A Love not your's ... not mine .



Here we stand on this branch
yet reality has us parted ...

All alone in my room
hangs a heart , that barely started
Why must I be forced to live in mind’s eye?
while I ponder this thought ...

Too much, now that we've dived so deep,
Into the heart of the murky sea,
Its too much joy.. that we sought to keep.

There was a time,
somewhere ...
In the days that have quietly gone by,
When we were content
to be fiercely free ...

And we fought the world hand in hand,
With loved friends,who . . .did understand;

But friends, silent time has passed us by.

She comes to me shy
I smile although I know she’s not near
for her love is an image
through this poor poet’s tear.

Hidden from the nearest lot,
To friend or to foe if known,
It will not remain hidden,for too long

What would I be if I didn't meet you ?
What would life be if I didn't get you ?
I can see the sparkle of love in your eyes,
That will always pry in my mind

But till what period will it stay ?
Will it end one day ?
Will it end with a hole in my heart ?
Or,
Will it . . end with a soothing sign ?


I hoped this love ... would never end,
And stands tight till the years would end

Did I really love her, if i feel this way ?

dReaMs ... Untold ...



Dreams seen .. with open eyes ..
soon as I blinked
they faded away
I closed my eyes ..
to find there remains
tethering too bright ,
distant .. from the anvil
they leapt away ....
As I catch a glimpse
of the moonlight
My dreams . . .
they hide somewhere ...
Or perhaps
they joined the departed creed ...
I can hear distant cries,
screaming from within
can't seem to find them anywhere ...
Like a dry twig,
in the absence of wind
my life , it has come
to a morbid standstill
A beginning or an end,
neither matters
when I am walking without a sight
I carry the empytiness
as remains within these confines
Though
we parted moments ago I feel,
the numbness never ceased
broken or crimeated ,
forgotten perhaps,never apparent ..
The way I saw
my tommmorow's unfold
Dreams , why do they
run away and hide
unhindered, boundless world within me
Where do they reside ..?
I see myself, sans these inhibitions
demeanours and retreats
clasping to my entity ...
I can't see my tomorrow's
I don't like my yesterdays
can't seem to change things till ..
I dont let go of these broken wings

Did i even dream to begin with ... ?

INSATIABLE

What is insatiable ...

Is it something that we do not hold ..

Or things never heard of ...

or told . . .

Is seperation the only pain in life ?

Why necessity is preceeded by desires

and

need by will ?

Who is to say .. and who to blame ?

The quench .. the absolution ..

so far

And everything in between ..

Right there

We cant but stop and stare

And feel and not say ..

but even If we could

It, we wouldnt do ..

The Life we hold ..

the love thats growing cold

The tears

that no longer come out

with a smile

Broken Wings have a home tonight ...

Is it necessary to have and to hold ?

What is the harm in doin things, not told ?

Why fear death,

something noone's ever seen ?

Why the roads and pastures .. far and distant

always look green ...

And in the tracks .. is life unheard

felt .. but not seen

The tempest awaits ..

ingnonimity behold ..

Curtains Draw closer ...

Brace up for the performance .!

Who is to say of what to let go ...

And what to hold ?

Lets roll the dice ...

And take our chance

Meditative deluge in this trance

Upstaging every prediction ..

The quest for self continues . . .

I wrote her name upon the sand .........

I Wrote her name upon the sand

and came a wave and washed it away

And then i wrote it with another hand

ashore a wave a took it away ...

The remains of the past left in the strands

this time it brought with it her smell
her name fragrated the sea ,my world

i learned then i couldn't breathe air

if it didn't contain her trace

I remembered last time we were here

the waves seemed to acknowledge her

beauty .. her ever growing grace

i was searching for her at bay

but she ...

she was immersed in my heart case,

I took a plunge in myself to find,

but she was scattered and imbibed,

on the tombstone of my cremated disgrace

A candle light on our love's grave,

she is immortal and I die of her name,

A crude accusition I carry of bringing,

obsolescing her embrace

Feelings and emotions better left upon the shore .....

paths and roads on the way ...

roads i travelled
high and low
ways into which
paths
submerge and flow
valleys,rivers
mending all blows
untouched terrains
asking to
be visited
ridges and cliffs
shattering
realities and myths
journeys
long and hard
journeys
far and below
foraying into
places
never knowing
i could
ever go
uuf's and aah's
tremor's and falls
all
encapsulated
by the prized
enchanting waterfall
discovering myself
an entity
so infinitesimly small
in this valley
holding
surprises for one and all

Hear ......what isn't said

Hear ......what isn't said
for what is said
makes no sense at all ...

Hear what is meant to be said
just close your eyes
And open your heart

I don't want to speak
for I have so much to say
I don't wanna listen to you
for it never goes away

Listen to the silence ...
(Can you hear in it my voice ..?)
For it may speak for me

I always had something to say
something ..
that
I could
never summon up & say
but
Since now the tides changed
and no more
washes your name away

I couldn't either
but it just embarked itself on my heart

Now my time's up & ... out
I haven't lost my faith or courage
but with you they went away

A thousand words i can take to say
what i couldn't .
all the while it was to be said

Now that I'm a bundle of hay
dry, battered , useless...discarded away

Hear ... behind the words
in the silence of the sulken night
some bonds ... will always remain
maybe next time round .. I'll have my say !




This poem is dedicated to anyone
and everyone who has loved but could not say ...

A Poem ...

Thoughts too vibrate . . .
Vibrate and the molecules run far and wide.

Some one must be there,
Somewhere to catch my thoughts.
The thoughts fly . . .
As they have colorful wings of a butterfly
Fly far and wide but never before . . .
leaving a mark in the space.

The empty spaces are not really vacant
All the empty spaces are filled with thoughts..

Thoughts that you think today . . .
Are also the ones that were thought of y'day

Next time you decide to walk beside me
Through the space and time
Think that she is not I but is a thought.
Think that you are traveling through thoughts.

Thoughts of our future discussed in sound,
in whispers Thoughts enriched with words and metaphors
Thoughts woven in the strings of phrases and images
Thoughts moving through the evening verses.

A poem . . if you see is my say ...
A drop in the ocean of which I'm at bay
come beyond these thoughts and dreams ...

When there happen a hundred little things,
Like the season's first flower by the springs,

Or the falling leaves in the Autumn time,
A sweet pleasing song, a haunting rime,

Will someone notice these mysteries?
And when clouds cover each twinkling star
And thunder is heard from lands afar . . .